An Idealist's Downward Spiral...into cynicism

Redirecting...

2006-04-22T15:43:00.000-04:00

you should be redirected immediately. i keep this blog up and running for posterity's sake. if the script doesn't work for you, Click Here

Officially Moved

2006-03-27T19:23:00.001-05:00

This is not an abandoned blog. This is a blog which has been relocated. Should you feel the need, please feel free to visit An Idealist's Downward Spiral Into...Cynicism at its new home.

Officially Moved

2006-03-27T19:23:00.000-05:00

This is not an abandoned blog. This is a blog which has been relocated. Should you feel the need, please feel free to visit An Idealist's Downward Spiral Into...Cynicism at its new home.

which do you prefer?

2006-03-26T16:06:00.000-05:00

please let me know if you prefer this blog hosting service or this one. The latter includes tags, trackback comments and better bloglines/livefeed compatibility, but does not permit the prettier template.

Are IPODs just a fad?

2006-03-26T08:24:00.000-05:00

I have been meaning to write this particular post for a while.
When IPODs first came out, or, more correctly, when you first started to see them being used by a large portion of the public transport using population, i couldn't understand what the big deal was. they seemed to be like everything else in this weird, other-culture fearing province - A FAD. A fad like car tempos and those rather pretty, but inexplicably popular icicle-style christmas lights. since then, i have decided that i want an IPOD Nano. Well, i want a real IPOD, but i am poor. However, i don't really know why i want one, which is the main reason i don't have one already. if i can't come up with one good reason why i think it will at least make my life more pleasurable, i don't think i should put out that kind of cash. i don't listen to music that much because i find it difficult to concentrate on what i'm reading when it's playing, even instrumental jazz which is what i listen to the most. i do listen to music when doing latin homework (which i won't be having next year, sadly) and i am pretty certain i would use an IPOD on public transport because i rarely go to the trouble of taking the book i "should" be reading out of my bag.
However, and this is what caused me to finally put up this post, after reading an entry on Guillaume's blog, i discovered pandora by the music genome project. it's a personal DJ. i can taylor a radio system to my specific tastes. the most awesome piece of internet technology i have seen all year. of course, i can't load pandora onto an IPOD, but it sure does give me good suggestions for making purchases at the MusicStore.
Okay, so why am i writing this? Because i need help. I cannot make this life-changing (LOL) decision on my own. Consider this a survey on what you think of the IPOD fad...
Factors to consider with the specific advice you give me that have not been previously mentioned:
(a) currently an IPOD represents over two weeks salary and i am trying to save up so as not to work next semester.
(b) yes, i have a MAC so ITUNES is my software of choice.
(c) i have been to all of two live concerts in my life. i prefer the theatre.
(d) i am horribly intimidated by the musically-knowledgeable.
So, whatcha think? why do you have one or not have one and what light can you shed on my particular conundrum?

illiteracy in Canada

2006-03-24T08:21:00.000-05:00

good morning.
firstly, some administrative nonsense: john completely denies the description of his flirting i posted earlier this week. apparently he is NOT touchy. i also got pretty raked over the coals for having a blog in general, but i like a good ribbing, so i can cope. it has come to my attention that if you are accessing this site via livefeed or bloglines, you do not see the post a comment link. well, i encourage anyone capable of telling me why this is to do so. i will happily fix it. if no solutions are forthcoming in the next week, i will change the template to include a note about that problem.
on to the interesting stuff. (HA).
My BOSS rec'd a ticket for not stopping at a stop-sign Wednesday night. She decided to write a LETTER to attach to the ticket because she wants to contest it. This is the letter (i rewrote it for her, don't worry), capitalization, spelling and punctuation pristine. She had proof-read it and just wanted me to "double-check" because i'm good at these things. Please note: thouh her first language is not English, she's Greek, she went through at least 7 years (if not her entire schooling career) in the english school system. i had previously thought illiteracy was dead in Canada. She has been working in an office environment for the past twenty-three years. Lord help me, she is my supervisor.
To Whom It May Concern:

I am contesting this ticket 011160573, Reason being I made my stop.

I pass by this particular stop everyday for 4 1/2 yeas.
This was not the first time that I seeing police officer pulling drivers over on the side.
But it was the first time I was pulled over.
They had stropped about 3 to 5 cars before i got there.
I saw a police officer 1/2 ways downs the street.
And pulled me over on the side. I asked what happed.
I was advised that I did not come to a full stop.
This is not the first time I see police at this stop
I have never being stopped before, I always do my stop
(I do not deserve to get this ticket)

Thank you,

Do you think she has more of a chance that a snowball in hell?

Notes from the Underground

2006-03-23T07:44:00.000-05:00

Well, i have spent the last three evenings researching an "optional" reflection on Machiavelli(not writing it meant the final paper would be worth an extra 15% of our grade). Last night, i rewrote the same paragraph over and over again for an hour and a half. it was infuriating because i really did have some good material to discuss. eventually i gave up in disgust over my incompetence and inefficiency at having dedicated so much time to a project i would not even complete.
i woke up at 4:30 this morning and lay there thinking. i decided to get up and write the paper taking a different angle (complacency and maintenance of the state rather than corruption and maintenance of the state) that had just occurred to me. at 6:15, when i normally get up to get ready for work, i was finishing the last bibliography entry. i feel like i have already accomplished a lot today, but i am not thoroughly convinced the paper is any good because i only JUST wrote it and am reading it over. oh well. at least i feel better. i am sure that feeling will fade by 5pm when i will be exhausted.
other than that, i am doing ok. i think i am going to ask my parents to help fund my getting a train pass for next year instead of getting driven in all the time because it is just so much more efficient. i don't know though. i found a course offered at mcgill on tuesdays and thursdays (Renaissance to Reformation) that i am very interested in, but i don't have classes on tuesdays and thursdays otherwise. i am trying to find out how you register for classes at another university and then get them converted into credits at Concordia.
And, lastly, some thoughts on the CJAD news report this morning:
(a) not that i am saying that the Christian "peace" missionaries deserved to be kidnapped - far from it - but am i the only one that doesn't find it surprising that a theocratical regime will react violently to a group openly engaging in proselytizing?
(b) if the montreal municipal government wants citizens to do something about the litter on the streets, shouldn't they consider having garbage cans at at least every bus stop? The street i work on doesn't have a single garbage can on it and people eat their lunches in front of the buildings all summer. It's not like Meilleur isn't a busy street...

interpreting body language

2006-03-22T08:34:00.000-05:00

again i am waiting for my mother to get ready to leave for work/school.
i think i have mentioned in a previous post that i think that a certain John character is one of the most atrocious, yet accomplished, flirts i have ever met. i would like to analyze the behaviour he partakes in to make me feel this way and ask any male readers whether or not the same sort of action would be interpreted as flirting or mothering if a woman acted this way towards them.
when John starts to talk to you, he at first is very flippant. you are being kind of frivolous and are, hence, amusing. slowly he appears to be paying more and more attention to what you are saying, this is mostly conveyed by making small, sacrastic remarks that are not really mean, but borderline. then this too stops. he looks you in the eyes, and, eventually, manages to get the very tips of his fingers in the small of your back, or on your shoulder. when walking by, if you are in the way, he always makes sure to do the same. a guiding push per say. now, it's not really as methodolical as i have written it out - this makes him sound like a master plan kind of guy, which i'm not saying he is, but i am creating a trend we can analyze. ok. so, if a woman got more and more rapt into your conversation and proceeded to lay a hand on you ever so gently ... is this flirting or mothering? if she lays a hand on your shoulder when she walks by you ... is it flirting or mothering? John usually ends one of these encounters with some insanely inappropriate comment that he gets away with because a bubble of solitude has been built up that creates a context of "okayness." you both know it's just playing, no one else will hear about it, so it's "okay." yeah. i like john. you can tell. i always feel really pretty, feminine, but smart after ten minutes. i guess this is proof of the attraction principle that says you like people who make you feel good about yourselves.
i like you too Lorne. i think you will see a bit of a description of our luncheon dates/emails in this description too.
on a daily update note: i can't stop sleeping. i fall asleep at 9pm, wake up to do more work, fall asleep again, set an alarm to get up early, get up before the alarm and turn it off, and still get up insanely late. i am not going to get any work done at this rate.

Commenting on "Entitlement"

2006-03-20T08:17:00.000-05:00

i am not inclined to do this very often, cite myself, but i spent a couple of minutes articulating this argument on someone else's blog and would like to share it.
you can click on this Link to read the original post by impudent strumpet and my reply.
it's odd because this discussion of entitlement came up in a course last week with a guy who teaches at LCC.
other than that, i am good. it is a little early in the morning for a full-fledged update (i haven't done anything interesting). i have tons of studying to do before classes start at 2:45 and my mother, as usual, is taking forever to get ready. we are supposed to have left the house by now. oh well.

2006-03-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

stop wasting time!
i am supposed to be typing out notes on a book i borrowed from prof. mcsheffrey last tuesday so i can give it back to her and then studying for my quiz in roman history tomorrow. why am i not? because i am lazy. i know, officially, have nothing else that is fun to do that is not school-work related. except maybe folding laundry and putting it in drawers. if that seriously becomes a temptation, i'll let you know.

2006-03-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

Am i the only loud and obnoxious individual who finds the quiet, collected folk a threat? whenever they speak, they sound so much more thought-out, articulate and sure of themselves. i frequently play devil's advocate in seminars and argue for a stance i am not even sure i remotely agree with because i firmly believe that only by arguing for the other side can you ever really understand your own. however, i also recognize that this makes me look like an ass. so, do all loud people find the quiet people intimidating? and do quiet people recognize that a lot of the time loud people are espousing ideas they don't believe just to try and get the quiet person to respond? i always want, fearfully, for the graduate student sitting in the corner to tear my argument to shreds, but, on the other hand, i want him/her to. do you think he/she knows that?
what inspired this questioning post you ask? well, on thursday i walked into the italian renaissance seminar complaining about how i hadn't understand Ficino's Argument whatsovever, and, surprisingly, the very nice but quiet young man that i sit next to (Bryan is on the other side of me) proceeded to ask me why. well, i said i think it had to do with the neo-platonist presentation of abstract concepts without hinging them on any sort of narrative structure so i can better remember the chronology of the argument. he proceeded to describe to me, in quite a bit of detail, his take on the Ficino treatise. i was impressed. i did not know at the time that this same young man was supposed to be giving the presentation today. when it came to presentation time, i couldn't believe it was the same person giving the talk. he was obviously very intimidated by the scenario and, unlike myself who proceeds to ramble, make bad jokes and speak too quickly in oral presentations, was unable to deliver the speech he had so painstakingly written out. there were long periods of silence and he was obviously really feeling the stress - which was SO weird because he had been so articulate about ten minutes earlier. more articulate than i ever am when discussing a given topic in philosophy/political science/social theory. i couldn't understand it. i recognize this is the fundamental difference between the quiet people and the obnoxious people, but i would like to get in their shoes. what is the obstacle they encounter that causes this? i would enjoy your take...
daily update: last night had huge salad for dinner, went to marche aux puces to buy shisha, watched steve smoke shisha while watching Heat (Val Kilmer, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino), went out for breakfast with Isabelle this morning, made sure Lisa had a good time last night with her "darling," doing some homework before going over to steve's and out for dinner to celebrate (belatedly) his Dad's birthday.

2006-03-17T10:56:00.000-05:00

trying out some new blogging software, so you are going to have to bear with me in this post. firstly, i have taken to using bloglines to check out the updates for my blogroll. thus far, the practice is serving me well. i will keep you posted.
secondly, i downloaded the new widget that posts to blogger from your dashboard. i already recognize that i do not know how to choose the title using this format. i will make an attempt to figure that out. however, i enjoy being able to jot down a line here and there in class by pressing F12.
and...just in case you were a doubting thomas, sometimes talking does help. Steve and i had a very long, and sometime heated though at others filled with silence, discussion regarding not only our discussion last week-end, but also our lives in general. we decided that we would both like our relationship to work out. this is a start. that we both enjoy spending time together, sharing what happens when we are apart, and knowing that the other person is there (somewhere in the world) and caring about what happens to us. i dare anyone to better define what a long-term relationship, with the possibility of it suddenly becoming a long-distance one in the future. we also talked about our conflicting life goals...which still pose quite a problem, but i think we both feel better about being on this boat. we then proceeded to go out for dinner at Mikes, where my order was screwed up yet again but good anyways, so the waitress was forgiven.
i couldn't decide whether to post about something more thoughtful today instead of sharing this daily update, but, realizing that the majority of my readers are also friends who have shown some interest in my relationship status, i decided to bore the rest of you. to compensate, tomorrow's post is planned to be on giving presentations and quiet vs. loud/obnoxious people.

bye bye victoria gym

2006-03-15T16:49:00.000-05:00

firstly, today is the ides of march. i am scared. particularly since i am sitting in Roman Empire, which should so somehow have recognized this fact but hasn't.
i went to my cardio class again today. the gym's last week is next week. where will the students work out now? we will be homeless...and i was just getting into it. moshing/dancing for an hour twice a week is good for me. both psychologically and physically. last monday i needed an aleve because my thighs ached so much, which was good because it means i had worked them for once. i feel less porky after.
i went to see Prof. Lorkovic about Foucault's Discipline and Punish today. i wanted to use some of the theory in a paper on banishment of prostitutes in late medieval london. Prof. Lorkovic knows his stuff. i felt much better about attempting to discuss a philospher in a social history paper and i felt smarter. a lot smarter. that is always my reaction to going into prof. lorkovic's office. this panegyric is partly sponsored by the visitor to my blog from BC who searched his name on google. i know that because someone on the LAC staff doesn't like him very much, they are not keeping him next year. this is a travesty. i cannot imagine anyone else having conveyed any sort of understanding of the philosophical-political texts we read last year. please note, lorky is not my prof. anymore, but he is helping me out anyways. i think i am a much better thinker and writer after sitting in his class. i am writing this down for posterity should the occasion ever arise again that for some unknown reason a future employer of his actually reads an entry in my blog on him. HIRE HIM. He cares about his students, knows his subject, comes to class prepared and treats everyone with respect.
ok. enough. i am not sucking up because (a) he will never read this and (b) he is not only not my prof, but also leaving Concordia after this semester.
tomorrow i have an appointment with the C.O.O. at the office about my hours for the upcoming months. i haven't heard anything from Census Canada or Bell Canada, so i guess i may be stuck in this office for yet another trimester of mindless work. i am considering applying to work at Concordia something like eight hours a week next year even though i had said i wouldn't work next semester. the library jobs are so conducive to reading.
oh. i meant to share this. ING Direct is currently offering a "short and sweet" GIC with 3.4% interest on a 90 GIC. This is incredible. there is no minimum amount. if you are interested in opening an account with them, and i highly recommend it, i can send you an email referral (gives me $13, costs you nothing). my email addy is hfeatherina-at-hotmail.com because i realize it is nowhere else on this page.
matthew and i have finally decided to be more time-effective and are going to be divying up attendance to this Roman Empire class. he will be attending Mondays and i will be attending Wednesdays. this will probably be cutting into my more general correspondence time and posting. i am sure you will cope nicely. if not, well, bother someone in my blogroll to your left. i am sure they would enjoy your viewing of their thoughts.

FORWARD

2006-03-14T09:51:00.000-05:00

Thought i would share this forward with you, my faithful readers...

just for a change

2006-03-13T16:55:00.000-05:00

my latin prof is awesome. i think we have already established this in previous posts, but i am going to provide more evidence towards this assertion.
(a) today, so we could, for a change, have a FUN assignment, she gave us three paragraphs of Harry Potter instead of a test. the homework is due the last day of class. woohoo, an excuse to buy harry potter trilogy in hardcover.
(b) Concordia, in a fit of its usual crappiness, doesn't have a copy of Petrarch's DE SECRETUM in its library. Okay, it's just about the 3rd most major work he wrote, but whatever. McGill has a copy, but interlibrary loan will take at least a week. Margaret has offered to take it out for me. as a prof, she gets much longer check out time. awesome!
Yesterday Steve and I had a discussion about our future in which he attempted to break up with me. he couldn't. i have had this same conversation with him so many times now that i am going to pull out my hair. Love isn't enough folks, according to my significant other. of course, obviously it's enough that you are willing to admit that living without the other person is the most horrifying thought you can come up with. lovely. oh the contradictions. whatever. i so am not worrying about this right now.
well, my first week of adsense has made me 0.17$ because only one person clicked on an ad. i think it might be more productive for the void magazine though. i may suggest it if i do become web editor. i should probably consider coming to a decision on that. i am just so scared of next year's class schedule though. eep. and no latin or italian. i am going to forget all i learnt. so sad.

are great books worth it?

2006-03-12T12:48:00.000-05:00

i was researching a paper on Petrarch for my Italian Renaissance class last week-end and came across a particularly disturbing critique of a great books curriculum by the scholar Whitfield. though i had orginally copied his comment out on a nice, purple index card, lord knows where i put it, so i will paraphrase quickly.
after discussing how Aquinas isn't really a scholastic, but because he is the only one we really read we erroneously consider him to be representative of the whole movement, Whitfield points out that perhaps the groundbreaking and best works of a given era do not, in fact, represent their realities best, but rather, the more mediocre ones, lost to history for the most part, do. this is an interesting critique of studying history through both great works, as we do at the LAC, or great men. It got me thinking about the purpose of the type of education i have opted for. however, i am not only working on the great books curriculum, right? but also engaging in literature, social history and languages. i would like to imagine that this helps overcome some of the skewed-ness of the great books curriculum, which i think has value if only on a historiographical level. ok. that was a very scholastic post.
i will lighten the content of this post with a brief mention of what i did last night. Steve and I went to see 16 Blocks with Bruce Willis. i thought it was a very nicely done action movie. i saw it in French, dubbed in Quebec (thank GOD), but i must say i found myself covering my mouth and the rest of my face with my hands a lot, which is always a sign of my succumbing to the suspense. i suggest renting it when it comes out to say the least. mindless in the way all stories about a corrupt police for are, but entertaining in a good way. the previews were also interesting. there appear to be a lot of really bad movies about to come out. V is for Vendetta being the prime candidate. it seemed like such propaganda. ugh. hopefully i will be wrong, because i bet i will forced to go and see it by either a family member or a boyfriend with not so-scrupulous taste in movies. not that i'm even close to an expert...

post-modernism

2006-03-10T12:06:00.000-05:00

i think, after talking to James last night while a little more than a tad tipsy, that he may have unknowingly conveyed to stupid little me the meaning of life. ha. no no. we were talking about the one-sentence story challenge, for which he has two great sentences. now, james is a much better writer than i am, so that they were better was not surprising, but what listening to him tell them finally made me realize was at least one level of creative writing (i think linked to post-modernism from my little knowledge of the "modes of expression and interpretation") is better because of the manner in which it gives the reader a sense of interactiveness by its indeterminacy. by not being entirely clear, the reader must fill in the blanks, does this instinctively, and then wonders why THAT choice was the obvious one for them. This was most more articulate last night as i lay in bed. oh well.
so, i enjoyed talent night immensely. john cayer is the most atrocious flirt. i blush. it's horrific. it was great to see so many people i never hang out with very much just because of scheduling conflicts. i may apply to be web editor for the void next semester. Steve was actually himself and not some monster playing mind games with me in the car on the way home and we took the LONG way because he said we hadn't been talking a lot this week (very true). it was nice.
i have a couple other good post-ideas on post-its on my desk. i will save them for later this week-end or next week. i need to get back to homework and researching. however, i would like to propose to you a new one sentence story. let me know which you prefer. the other was trying for something very different (more use of cliches and the like), but i think i like this one better. i am going to submit it because i actually told Shanti i would. I like Shanti. She's nice.

He barrelled through the red light into and over a crater of a pothole as i, sitting low on the beige-speckled backseat upholstery, bit my tongue.

good intentions

2006-03-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

i had every intention of developing a meaningful, articulate post during this afternoon's Roman Empire class. Unfortunately, Matthew is not here today, so my plans are shot. To explain the brief hiatus preceding in posts, i have been a little under the weather. i am recovering. i am also trying to accomodate a new schedule, but the faculty of Concordia's history department is meagre indeed. there are no classes offered on the years 1400-1700 in Europe during the fall. What the hell is that?
Anywho, i must continue with covering both our butts and taking notes for my usually so kind friend. how dare he not be here today? i missed Monday (slept 19 hours) so i can't criticize.
please note the addition of adsense in the navigation bar to your left. i have decided to begin a foray into modern marketing. ha.

Mandragola: Opening Night

2006-03-05T11:20:00.000-05:00

Last night, in a dance studio converted into a pseudio-black box theatre, Director Ian Cutherbertson, with the help of assistant director Merav Fima and stage manager Katerina Sokryko, presented a stunningly intelligent and comical production of Mandragola (summary). The talents of all the actors (figured above in a picture of role call and from right-left) - Alex Ferko as Professor Nicia, Tassie King as Sostrata, Audrey Peek as Lucrezia, James Fothergill Brown as Friar Timoteo, Bryan Brazeau as Ligurio, Brad Share as Callimaco, Tara Dominguez as Woman in Church, Greg Bouchard as Siro, and Alex Carruthers as Poet - shone.
A light combination of physical humour, political philosophy and the occasional inside joke (with friends and family in the audience, what more was to be expected?) like a brief excerpt from The Pirates of Penzance, there was rarely more than a minute with at least a smirk. True to the original, but combining numerous translations, this presentation of one of the world's most infamous political theorist's creative productions was not only a joy but also consistent with the atmosphere of the Liberal Arts College.
To be admitted, there were a couple line flubs, "i will go now..." "but what will you do? "I will go now," but for an opening performance, the audience was given a surprisingly professional performance that would have made many a full-fledged theatre department proud. Particularly considering the meagre set (a bench) and costumes which detracted not at all from the viewer's ability to imagine a Florenting square.
Should you want to tickle your own fancy, i encourage you to be present at the last show this evening, 7pm, at Concordia's TJ builiding (3rd floor) on the corner of Terrebonne and West Broadway in NDG. This performance was one of many creative endeavours sponsored by Concordia's acclaimed Art Matters festival.

On Sodomy

2006-03-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Every time i end up reading an article on sodomy for a history class, i find myself pondering the power-structure in all relationships. i feel pretty safe in affirming that our conception of sex as an expression of love is a creation of the 1950s, but nonetheless, we have co-opted a lot of the dialogues found in prior societies. Worth mentioning is that the proto-feminists (i.e. up until the 1960s) were more likely to advocate an asexuality for all than the liberation and consequent lesbianism we tend to equate with feminism now.
And what exactly does sodomy mean? Our own use of the term is not consistent with its prior application, which, yes, did include anal intercourse between BOTH homosexual and heterosexual partners, but also any form of non-procreative sex: masturbation, oral intercourse and any form of contraception was a form of sexual heresy. In fact, in many of the American states where sodomy was illegal these were the activities actually being outlawed, not just homosexual actions.
To move to a contemporary Canadian context in this discussion, the current Bill of Rights, though penned decades ago and, hence, nonetheless provocatively progressive, explicitly states that anal intercourse is illegal even between partners under the age of 18, no matter their respective genders.
I am inclined to think that we still perceive of the act as one of subjection of one partner to the will of the other - while clearly in current pornography, the "subjected" is depicted as finding the act pleasureful. In a society whereby we believe in the individual agency of all, do we still require a belief that, within limited contexts, subjection can be a good thing? and is the act really one of subjugation? i don't really know.
my own thoughts on the acts have little relevance to the conversation. i think, more importantly, this 'power-structure within a relationship' dialectic can help us determine just how much we deem sexuality to be defining of a person's personality - something an article i just read by Helmut Puff on the Priest and the Sodomite in the German Empire claims were not linked. other material i have come across also concurs. our perception of sexuality (i.e. object preference) as a determining factor in identity is a relatively new phenomenon. Sodomy was generally described as illicit acts and the term "sodomite" was one of defamation closely linked to heresy. I think it's sometimes constructive to debunk our supposedly timeless conception of sexuality.
Well, i guess that's enough academic mantra for one morning. i am going to go make myself some lunch and read about the crisis of the 3rd century in the Roman Empire before going off to the play. This may mean, lucky readers, that you will get a 2nd post today reviewing the performance. i know you are all a-twitter with delight.
i am considering submitting this blog to YULE blog. i should surf their blogroll first, however, before deciding whether or not it is an appropriate action. Note the more philosophical/analytical content of this entry - i am attempting to up the thoughtfulness again. We'll see how long that lasts.

Creative Writing...or not?

2006-03-03T10:12:00.000-05:00

The Void Magazine is requesting submissions for a one-sentence complex narrative on the theme of escape for their next issue. now i am incredibly intimidated by the staff of the void - they are all so quiet and articulate - so i would like to bounce this idea off a different audience before i really put myself out there, on the line to dry so to speak.
Running the red light, our car nose-dived into a "nid-d'autruche" and i watched the contents of my cup splatter like a Jackson Pollock.
I am kind of ambivalent. i like the integration of frenglish and a new simile, but i think it might be a little kitch. and the reference to Pollock, well, seems pretentious. I don't know when the deadline is, but i would like your thoughts or suggestions for other topics, should you feel the urge.
oh yeah, and in my endless surfing during Roman Empire, i came across an excellent article on blogging in the Financial Times. It argues that blogging is not a revolution of the media - i was pretty convinced before the article, but it argues it using some of the best blogs on the web. if you are at all interested in this sort of thing, you can check it out at this link.
Oh, and another random tidbit, mostly for Veronica because i don't know anyone else really into film that much, did you know about the website YouTube that posts shorts by amateurs. It's pretty awesome.

Wow...

2006-03-02T07:56:00.000-05:00

Some brilliant people obviously have too much time on their hands. Julie (see eveglass link in blogroll) posted this morning that Geoffrey Chaucer has A BLOG! It's awesome. Funny. Brilliant. Such a waste of time. Check it out here. I don't think i will be posting again today, off to see Steve and all after school and work, but i just couldn't let sharing this website pass me by. Have a great day all.

Bryan: A Neo-Apollo

2006-03-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

Ehlana was talking about Go Fug Yourself and this insane snickering at others has encouraged me to point and laugh at Bryan. I think most people who will read this at least know of Bryan, and if you don't, well you can revel in the nastiness of this comment.
According to my temporary Latin prof (Margaret is out of town right now), Apollo, despite being incredibly handsome, gifted with sight into the future and talented in song and music, could never manage to seduce a woman. HA! In fact, after many amorous attempts, Cassandra finally agreed to let Apollo kiss her - of course, she spit in his mouth and he condemned her to have the gift of prophecy, but no one would believe her. She saw not only the fall of Troy via the entry of the horse and the pulling down of the walls, but also her immanent murder by Clymenestra after Agamemnon brings her home. Interesting story on it's own, particularly chuckle worthy when applied to Bryan's romantic ideal, ability to cook (or bake according to Ehlana), sing, dance and generally woo a woman. I know this is a cruel engagement, but i felt the need to share. Sorry Bryan. I love you anyways. I don't think creating a parallel between you and Apollo is really THAT nasty. It is a compliment too (sort of).
I went to the Cardio Plus that i signed up for in early January and have only been to once because of blowing out my knee and midterms. It went well. I walked out on the last five minutes of ab exercises, mostly because i much prefer taking a shower in the locker room when there is no one else there. I dn't have horrible body hang-ups, but if i can avoid flagrant exhibitionism, i will. I didn't have to stop nor did i avoid anything except the intense jumping up and down to heavy metal for about a minute and a half. my knees started to hurt immediately so i thought it made sense to call it quits.
I was supposed to meet Sarah for coffee after, but it didn't pan out. Sadly. i hope we can meet soon. i enjoyed hanging out with her so much in florence.
last night i took one of my bi-weekly sojourns to the pharmacy. some cool stuff was on sale. i bought some la coupe version of frizz eaze because it was cheaper. i then proceeded to call Lisa, Veronica and Steve and write the postcards that i sent out this morning.
I had a "back to the past" moment last night. I fell asleep reading a photocopy of Bruni's Life of Dante. I was awakened by my Dad trying to extricate me from the knots i had made in my covers and turning of the bazillion lights i had left on. i don't know what time it was. all i know is that i thought it was weird until i realized i had fallen asleep and it must have been like 2 in the morning or something and my Mom was snoring (again).
Well, i think that's enough for now. I can still check emails, read the news, send text messages, and, who knows?, maybe even take a note or two about this ever-so-boring class.

Back in the Swing of Things

2006-02-27T16:31:00.000-05:00

i am in class blogging again. it feels good to be back. i am sorry that Lisa was not as in to her souvenir as i would have hoped. maybe if she finds her marionettes things will look up. Bryan appeared to like his Dutch cigars, no surprise there.
on another front, beyond the everyday latin and taking Lisa out for a Birthday Lunch (yum), Steve's dad had a heart attack yesterday. He is only 49, so you can imagine the shock. He is still in the hospital, but is supposed to be going to recover. i imagine there will be some dieting going on. i don't know much else, so i will leave the topic until i have more information.
our plane left an hour late because there was an eleven plane waiting list for the runway. what a drag. the good news was that there was only a twenty minute line at customs and they didn't make me pay any duties on the rum or the cigars i brought in.
i may go the the museum with Lisa on Wednesday. I have a lot to do, but i would like to engage in something cultural for the next couple of weeks. I am looking forward to the Mandragola production on Saturday. Must break the news to Steve that i am going however.
Well, i have a gazillion emails in my inbox and should probably copy out the notes Matthew is so kindly taking for me. Yeah for nice guys who do favours for people!!!!
This is a happy student signing off.

last day aboard/abroad

2006-02-25T17:22:00.000-05:00

I am currently in the process of having my last “tea time” for a very long while. Then I must pack. The last shower has already been taken.
So, some thoughts on cruises. The onboard entertainment is pretty good. Worth going to. The food and drinking is awesome. The staff constitute the most helpful and agreeable group of people on the planet. I would not choose this type of vacation for my money spending, however. There is too little to do on sea-days other than eat and I don’t feel that good about eating all the time. I am very very happy my aunt signed us up for the morning yoga classes even though it was an extra fee. It gave us something to get up for and something to do in the morning before breakfast. I don’t feel I have solely been killing my body.
I don’t like lobster very much. I tried it for the first time at dinner last night. It was okay. I should have had the salmon. I am going to miss our crew members, Marlo (waiter), Robert (assistant-waiter - but if we don’t like him, he told us his name is Marlo, ha!), Antonio (room attendant) and Antonio’s room attendant whose name I have yet to catch but I have spoken to numerous times.
Bryan, your biscotti is much better than the pistachio one I am currently eating.
Ok. Back to why I am not as keen on cruises. Everything is about spending money and sitting in the sun. without money and when allergic to the sun, this is not much. Port days were great. I am chatty, so I would go talk to the people at the bars on the beach, bob up and down and shop with my aunt and mum. If you are going to go on a cruise, try to get one with lots of shore excursions. I think they make better memories and pictures too. Speaking of pictures, yesterday I must have taken at least 50 in a span of about fifteen minutes of the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. Cruises would also be good for honeymooners as it would get you talking to different people at the meals and something to do other than stare into each other’s eyes all day.
Yesterday I didn’t do much. I finished all the scansion and vocab of my latin homework and read some Foucault. Today I have read one article for the Renaissance class. I still want to go take a look at some perfume, pack and spend my ten dollars in the onboard casino. The boat is very rocky today. It is not nice out. Not raining, but a lot of fog in the distance.
Okay. I am all over the place and should probably stop. This post has gone nowhere, but as I left you all hanging yesterday, I thought I owed it to you. I am looking forward to catching up. Some specific shout-outs:
Lisa: Meet you at 1pm at the LAC for lunch Monday, my treat? If this is okay, pls don’t call to confirm, I will be exhausted Sunday when we finally get in and I still have to finish translating my Latin
Vero: I will call you the first evening I am at home. Maybe Monday. Maybe Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I will be seeing Steve, and I have to get prescriptions filled. I have not forgotten about you though.
Bryan: I am locking myself in the library Monday morning, drop in to say hi, but don’t monopolize my time too much – I AM SO BEHIND ON THE PAPERS DUE IN LIKE 5 WEEKS! AH!
I love you all. Wish me a safe flight home and a joyous reunion with my Booey.

Another Day...Another Divine Beach

2006-02-23T16:04:00.000-05:00

I am currently listening to Billy Idol’s Eyes Without a Face. We just got in from St. Maartens. I have souvenirs for everyone. They are not nice enough for birthday presents too (mainly because I don’t know how you have decorated your room in Toronto Veronica, because there was some gorgeous Dutch stuff). Ah well. Last night after blogging I went to the sushi bar and did some reading which I finished this morning on the stationary bike in the gym. I then fell asleep in the Thalassotherapy lounge, woke up when it was dark and mis-read my clock thinking it was already 7:15pm, when it was just quarter to. So I ran to the theatre for nothing. We watched a dance and orchestra tribute to the great American composers Cole Porter, Gershwin, Berlin, Rodgers and Hammerstein and Fats Waller. Except for the Gershwin section, it was very nice. Unfortunately, they decided to mike the performers. Not only were many of the singers powerful enough to not need to be miked, but it just seemed to run contrary to the work of those great men. Plus, there were so many anorexic women in nothing that the one woman whose ribs you couldn’t count from the back actually managed to look fat in comparison. Of course, we all know there is not a professional dancer on the planet even remotely overweight. It was sad. They were not attractive at all. Stick legs.
St. Maartens was great. We went to Dawn Beach. We were only there for three hours which was really sad. The waves were glorious. Divine. In Ecclesias Gloria. You could just go out into the warm water and bob with them. The sand was as fine as in Antigua (pronounced Ant-tee-gah) but the waves were larger requiring a little more pushing. I had a great conversation with an older man (wife and a kid, not old) from Conneticut about the Boston Bruins vs. the Montreal Canadians. Then I drank to Carib Beers (taste like Corona but come with a lime) that only cost 0.75$ each. I don’t usually drink beer. It was a nice change and cheap too. I read some more for school.
We took the taxi back to the port and then walked into St. Phillipsburg to shop. Of course, we were on a time schedule because god forbid we would miss Battle of the Sexes Trivia (I am not there right now. I am on strike). Apparently we paid a fortune for tickets to visit all the islands to have to come back to the ship to play trivia games. Absolutely ridiculous. My allergies are acting up again. Now they are all over my feet. It burns. I can associate much more with those of you who suffer with eczema now. It was so sad to be on the beach in the most intense yellow sun ever and not be able to get out from under my umbrella’s shade.
I brown bagged my lunch again. This time it was my Mum who stole a sandwich. On the walk to and from town I burnt my scalp. Usually I don’t wear a hat because I want my hair to go blonder, but, as I am sure you can imagine, my poor little scalp no longer has much protection from the rays now that it is in pretty cornbraids. Three people other than my mother have made the reference to Bo Derrick (?) in the movie Ten. I have no idea what they are talking about still, but continue to blush appropriately.
Well, you may have figured out that I am not responding to any comments you may post. That is because the internet on the ship is at 0.75$ a minute. Hence, the beer was as costly. I write in word, sign in, and cut and paste into blogger. I am not checking my email either. I will admit to sending Steve a text message. However, I am talking lots of pictures I will be happy to share once I have returned.
I am going to go and try to find some ginger ale. Read some more or maybe do some latin in the sleeping, oh, I mean thalassotherapy lounge. I will probably bring the laptop with me for the music. I am now listening to For Adults Only by Miles Davis.

british west indies...

2006-02-22T15:20:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon. Today was not too bad. Though I am rather inclined to rip the entire front area of my torso completely off, the day at the beach was fun nonetheless. However, I will begin with last night.
Walking back to our stateroom I crossed my mother’s path and managed to run in before her. Woohoo. My mother walks around the ship at the pace of a snail. I proceeded to flop on the bed and do some much needed latin homework. Then, after showering, getting dressed and brushing my hair I waited a good hour before the other members of my party of three were ready to descend to the martini bar. I had an Alize Gold Fancy Martini. Wasn’t great, but wasn’t bad. We ate breadsticks and sat at the bar watching the bartender make others’ drinks. I had lamb shank for dinner. Yum. Tiramisu for dessert – double yum.
Then we went to the theatre where I saw the most amazing dance act ever (the woman was a pretzel I swear!) and a very good stand up comedy act by Theing Fu. He left the boat today to go to Vegas. Then came back to the room and slept.
This morning I got up kind of late and we went for breakfast. Eggs Benedict are nasty. Then in a typical student fashion, I went to the breakfast buffet and stole rolls, cold cuts, cheese slices and fruit to brown bag lunch at the beach. I donated a sandwich to one of the beach vendors who looked like he was starving.
Antigua has the most beautiful beach on the planet. The water is the palest blue. The sand is like powdered sugar. I got my hair done in corn braids and swam. There was enough sand in the water that I thought I would be able to do this, but I think it affected me anyways. Then we did a little shopping. I got postcards and an orange bracelet, earrings and necklace set. No rasta stuff for Steve because I was with the mum and aunt.
I am now going to go do Renaissance readings in the sun in my bathrobe. Maybe I will take a nap. The show is early tonight, so I will be bringing sushi there. Tomorrow is the big shopping day in St. Maartens. I am looking forward to it. The sun is glorious, there is always tons of breeze and the water is warm. Antigua gets two thumbs up.

Carribean Here I AM

2006-02-21T17:18:00.000-05:00

I am in my room eating sushi. You might be asking why I am sitting on the bed of the tiniest room on the planet, albeit eating gourmet food, when I could be outside on deck basking in the sun, walking around Puerto Rico, or relaxing in the thalassotherapy pool. That is a very good question. Short answer – I am allergic to the sun. We are going to Antigua tomorrow and have already paid to spend the whole day on the beach. I am hoping that this allergy has been a misdiagnosis and after applying some cortisone and refraining from using suntan lotion, mosturizer (and perhaps even soap!) I will be back on my feet.
I blogged this morning on the ship’s computers, but discovered that their browser doesn’t accept cookies. Ten minutes of vacation wasted. My laptop is now set-up for wifi, so I am going to be able to post this when I go down to the martini bar.
Speaking of martinis, last night I had a sour apple one…and three glasses of wine at dinner. Surrounded by a thousand people having a great time, two of them being family members, I suddenly felt all alone. I wanted Steve, Veronica, Lisa and Bryan as well as my Boo. I went to bed right after dessert and missed the musical presentation “Let’s Rock” which my mum and aunt have tried to convince me was good, I think the title doomed it to begin with, and some horrible karaoke performances.
We did some shopping. I have a new bathing suit which is already too small from all the eating. I signed up with my aunt for yoga classes four mornings. I hate yoga, but she had never tried it. I guess it is better than nothing and the other three days I am going to be working out in the morning on either the elliptical trainer or the bike.
Puerto Rico was a bit of a letdown. The old city is very pretty. There were people flying kites that were high enough I was afraid they might crash into a plane. We walked in the sun, but the shopping wasn’t any great shakes and we didn’t want to pay for a taxi to go to the beaches. So we are back.
I am having a good time, don’t get me wrong, but I must admit that the most fun of it all thus far has been calling Steve and hearing about the weather Montreal has been getting. Oh, apparently I am not very attractive because despite being really drunk and dressed in a little black formal dress from Holt Renfrew, the 18-year old boy who eats dinner with us didn’t say more than two sentences to me despite my doing my best to talk to him. I wish Bryan were here so I could watch him dazzle my aunt and Mom with his dancing skills and other pretentious habits that would fit right in *smiles.
Ok. I had better get some homework done. I am not getting very far on that front. I may be blogging more often now that I may no longer be able to sit in the sun.
I miss you all and wish you were here too. My Mum and aunt are fun and all, but they don’t replace my friends. Plus, they mock me. Oh wait, you guys do too. Hmmm…do you love me after all? I promise not to be a sad drunk again tonight.

you know you'll miss me

2006-02-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

my laptop is now packed, so i am using the computer downstairs, which never happens. Steve and i went out for dinner, i proceeded to have too much to drink. then he helped me pack. i am sure that i forgot tons of important stuff, but i guess i will just have to buy more when we get there. ha.
i would like to take a moment to discuss my inability to create for the greater publicizing world. the current issue of the void will be about escape. now, i was lying in bed awake this morning at 6 am, worrying about the upcoming midterm, which went really well incidentally, and i came up with tons of topics. articles on painkillers, obesity, suicide and even a documentary on my cruise experience all seem appropriate. unfortunately, the deadline to submit a query is saturday and i am not articulate enough anyways. what i would like to know, is which is your preferred method of escapism. i think i eat to relieve myself of the problems of this world more than anything else. chocolate and starchy cookies - particularly of the oatmeal or tea biscuit variety. comfort food is so satisying.
i must admit, that as i have to get up at 3 this morning, i would really appreciating my parents arriving home so i can find out where the adaptor for the digital camera is being kept. it would be nice to bring it along. so would batteries, but i don't know where those are, let alone if we have any at all.
well, i want to go to bed. articulation is not my strong suit when i am tired. i will post at least once from the cruise ship, don't miss me too much. i might even post a pic or two if my bro ever gets home.
enjoy your spring break!

plum tea = yummy

2006-02-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

wow. the title of the blog rhymes. it's amazing how the little things can be equally uplifting as they can be devestating - like when you don't get what you order for valentine's day dinner. somehow a little thing like that can end up being the cause of an entire evening spent bawling one's eyes out in bed. lovely. poor Steve. i also gained 2.5 lbs last week. great. i am on a diet, but there is no way it was muscle mass because i can feel the muscles in my legs atrophying.
so yeah. after managing a relatively productive morning (two articles and five lines of latin) i went out with Tim for tea. hehe alliteration. it was nice. the tea and Tim. last night i went to bed at nine thirty instead of doing the work i needed to. then i spent the whole night dreaming the weirdest dreams. really odd. i can't remember now, but when i woke up this morning, i know i had a pretty good recollection of the dream sequences.
well, my history professor is done reiterating the midterm exam format for the umpteenth (no, no fourth) time. oh wait, there he goes again. well, i need to start the email writing cycle this class has become the setting for during the past 6 weeks. have a good evening.

looking in a mirror

2006-02-11T14:26:00.000-05:00

i finished watching season 5 of the gilmore girls last night when i got home. i thought i was watching myself as Rory was self-destructing in the last episode. Lovely. i went to bed.
this morning i have not been as productive as possible. i meandered around the house aimlessly. i read three chapters that will be on my exam wednesday and realized there is absolutely NO WAY i am getting all the readings for this week done. Luckily, i am missing the last class this week in Italian Renaissance, so i will not get caught. i did read over the draft i finished yesterday and that assignment is now done. i am supposed to be writing a different paper right now. I am hoping the act of articulating thoughts on a screen will inspire me to get a move on. i should not have permitted myself a nap in the sun streaming through my window. i realized when i was nodding off and enjoying the heat that there will be plenty of time for this kind of activity on the cruise ship. oh well. the nap gave me a headache.
i am going out to dinner with Steve. the outfit i am wearing is picked out. i told him i will leave here around 4:30 to go to his house. that was an optimistic appraisal. though his presents are bagged, my overnight stuff is not. oh well. if i am late, he will cope. i need to get a rough draft of this done.
well, my candy is almost done, meaning my tea must be steeped. off i go to the world of working...

100th post!

2006-02-10T12:43:00.000-05:00

Wow. One hundred posts. That's a lot. Obviously i don't have enough to do...
i don't really feel like blogging tofay, but like all the activities in my life that i should be savouring, somehow i have anaged to internalize it as an obligation. great.
Steve and i fought twice yesterday. i got out of the car on not so nice terms which then degenerated into my falling asleep dreaming of going to tarts and vicars in the sluttiest costume ever. which everyone knows is very very unlike me. if i show up, you will know we are broken up, not that i think we are, but it could happen. there was screaming, as usual. i am not a calm or particularly nice individual and telling him i didn't give a fuck what his parents thought was just antagonistic (our fight started full bore in the entrance of his house and, yes, i slammed the door despite his dad being asleep). somehow, in the heat of the moment, i managed to justify this with a very contrite "well, he's the one whose decided that we should continue living our lives in his parents homestead, in perpetuity", but on the other hand, i also know that was unfair. i care what my parents think too. i shouldn't be mad because he is considerate. i don't give a fuck what they think, but i do care about him, which he saw as mutually exclusive propositions. oh well. i am tired of fighting. i am tired of complaining. i am tired of getting up in the morning.
well, that last paragraph would lead you to believe i was contemplating suicide, wouldn't it. Alas, no. i am currently cooking lentil soup and made myself a very healthy egg salad wrap for lunch. i was waiting for my brother to get out of the shower so i could put some water in the kettle and make myself some tea. i have a paper to finish writing. i also read 2 articles this morning. i have been semi-productive if you factor in the laundry too.
I presume Jon Cayer would never deign to read this, but in case anyone who knows him accidentally comes across this - CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN! For those of you who don't know him, he got accepted to Yale with a 6-year fellowship in Medieval French literature this week. It's inspiring. Success is achievable (you just have to be as brilliant as Jon!).

philosophical systems, language and stubborness

2006-02-08T16:26:00.000-05:00

i am really fed up of people criticizing theories of how society works because they can find an example that either (a) doesn't fit in the system or (b) pokes a whole in the system. i think that historians in particular are proving to be most obnoxious about this. philosophical systems and theories are almost inevitably being presented as heuristic devices - not the blueprint to all knowledge (unless of course, you're that nut Hegel).
so, historians are criticizing any system for understanding the social phenomena they study. why? do they refuse to discuss it using language? no. but the language they adopt is always a conceptualization of phenomena, that blurs the specifics of any particularlity. by calling "rape" rape, you are applying a definition to it that, though you admit is sometimes flawed or unclear, is still required to actually discuss a group of phenomenon that have a lot in common. you don't deny the efficacity of that particular heuristic device (the adoption of conceptual labels called language) but you will critique Foucault for attempting to provide an interesting method of looking at the modern world by interpreting the ancien regime in a new way. foucault doesn't even attempt to be a historian. and what is the point of history if you aren't going to attempt to learn something worthwhile from it rather than just study separate cases. that type of history is not one i want to engage in anyways.
oh well. this is spurred on by general conversations in my Violence and Disorder Seminar with Professor McSheffrey. No one has actually been this stubborn in holding the other camp's point of view, i am putting up a tad of a strawman to defend the theorists' projects. oh wait. that's a heuristic device - i'm not allowed to do that.
i am doing well for your info. not getting much work done, but doing well. no latin homework for the week-end. woohoo. must write a paper tonight. ciao.

illicit activities

2006-02-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

i am at work taking illegal photocopies. don't let the powers that be in on the secret.
i was going to do a nice long post before going to bed last night, but blogger was down doing system maintenance. i didn't have an internet connection for most of the day yesterday, so that is why there was no post. my latin test could have gone better. i found out michel foucault's life coincided slightly with my own. this was news.
well, i had better start printing my paper ... more illicit activity. what a rebel i am today.

its grey both outside and in...

2006-02-05T11:31:00.000-05:00

hi. it's grey outside. i hate days like this. no amount of indoor lighting can make up for the dreariness. i still have tons of work to do before tomorrow at 2:45 when both my week begins and my first latin test of the semester. i tried studying some yesterday, but i ended up falling asleep.
my new mattress was delivered by Steve in his Dad's pickup on Friday. Friday night was fun and oh-so-counter productive. i made my new bed, with mattress pad and it was so comfy that i didn't want to go to sleep, so i stayed up until 5am watching season 5 of the gilmore girls. luckily, i am now so behind on my schoolwork that there is absolutely no chance that i will end up watching it instead of doing my homework.
i am mostly posting because i know certain people get worried when i don't post over a five day period. i got cornered by sandra when i answered my cellphone yesterday, so it is back to it's traditional "silent" setting. i need to switch to caller ID rather than voicemail. also, there is more chance i will call people back if they don't tell me they were just calling to check if i was free when i was working (that's an explanation for you Lisa). i am a little overwhelmed by the amount of work i need to complete before "reading" week.
ok. i know that whenever i come up with a cool plan to combat poverty rates, there is a flaw that someone much more educated than myself points out. so, here is my new plan of the week:
the cost of hydro is indexed to oil, correct? we cannot sell the stuff to our own citizens for less than that which we export to our partners in free trade (this might not be correct, but isn't integral to my plan, so who cares?). with gas prices rising, we should be making more money on the quebec taxpayers investment in hydro-electric dams, correct? so, i think they should make hydro a non-taxable item. it seems stupid to tax people on something as essential as electricity and many people heat with it, making it a major expenditure for most households in a climate where heating occurs 6 months of the year. would this not put money in the poor people's pockets as well as giving the rich more to spend on other items that are taxed? plus, what a great incentive for homes to be built or converted to electric heating. we did sign the kyoto accord, didn't we?
ok. someone can now tell me why this is not economically sound or wouldn't help the target population. go ahead. but remember, that i haven't heard very many other solutions proposed recently...other than constructing homes/apartments for low-income families with better insulation - which seems to be working on the same principle.

food for thought

2006-02-01T11:31:00.000-05:00

some random tidbits that you might find worth pondering:
(a) has anyone seen the passion of the christ? it was brought up that mel gibson has the best medieval conception of violence and that, after seeing the passion of the christ, if you re-watch braveheart, you will realize that william wallace is actually christ. interestingly enough, i just read the court proceedings for his case and execution and it is completely contradictory to the movie. you can read it here.
(b) after listening to professor krantz talking about how petrarch would make multiple copies of each letter he wrote and send it to his other patrons too, i came to the conclusion that petrarch was the first blogger. hmmm. should i re-name this blog "a foray into the neo-Petrarchian" to mimick Bryan's sally into relationships? I love Petrarch. it's so pretty. not deep. but pretty and wise.
(c) when very bored in roman empire the other day, i was reading an article on google. wow. it is really awesome. the use a whole bunch of pcs connected together. that's why it almost never crashes. and they went public when they were already really rich. it's pretty awesome and as google is a search-engine we all know and love, i highly suggest taking a look-sy: at the london book review.
(d) also when bored in roman empire the other day, i read a review on the fat girl's guide to life. i will not be reading that book. everyone knows that i am on a diet, and i think the review, which criticized the book for being both superficial and hypocritical (why do those two always go together) ponted out what is generally wrong with north american eating habits. the author points out that her grandmother used to say "i've had sufficient" when offered a second portion. we have forgotten the meaning of sufficient and can only conceive of full. this is true. i think. i am now telling myself that i have had sufficient...i have lost 3 lbs by they way and am feeling better for it. you can find the article at this address should you feel the need.
ok enough link providing. i hope you feel enlightened. i know i do...

bubble tea and me

2006-01-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

i like bubble tea, but i don't like tapioca. so, i guess i don't really like bubble tea. i like smoothies.
am in roman empire right now. the professor is doing the most cursory summary of all the imperial rulers ever. what is the point of this?
i spoke to a prof this morning about a paper. five library books and one reference book later...i have a plan for the paper. which is good because there is a proposal due next week with a bibliography.
other than that, i went out for bubble tea with quite a large group.
yesterday i watched the 40 year old Virgin. What is up with that movie having a general rating? i don't think i've ever seen that much frontal nudity before. and the language...it was funny. i liked it, but the rating was very bogus.
i am too tired from my cold to write more. i should, but i won't. i will regret this decision in about ten minutes when i have nothing else to do, but for now i am giving up.

it may be winter - but the sun's still bright

2006-01-28T16:10:00.000-05:00

i just tried looking at the sun. stupid. now there is a big black spot in front of my eyes. i wanted to see if it was still outside my window, just not bright enough to be casting a stream into my room - answer to my question is yes. it is nice that at 4:12 the sun is still visible out my window. it is one of the factors that i am looking forward to most on the cruise ship: not spending my days in the dark.
this morning's breakfast with Lisa was a jolly good time. we talked. she nagged me for being on a diet. we talked some more. i ordered a healthy breakfast, which was excellent, and she doesn't eat her potatoes, so i ate those too. i brought about half of my granola wth yougurt, apples and pears home to eaten this afternoon around 2. yummy. we then went shopping. i bought camisoles and a sweatshirt w/ matching scarf for !4$!. Yup. four dollars. i also bought myself a mattress cover, the kind made of egg carton stuff, which caused my Mom to take it from me as soon as i got in the house and tell me she would return it. she then ordered me a new mattress. my parents and i have been having this argument for months now. i finally gave in. of course, i still have like another week of discomfort now when i could be sleeping on a cloud this evening. i might keep the mattress pad and not let her return it. it will fit on my new bed too right?
i just woke up from a nice, hour long nap with the beautiful Booey. i am trying to beat this impending sickness with lots of fluids and napping. he has not given up however and is now curled up in a ball at my feet. what a doll. i will keep you posted on my illness. back to readings. tata for now.

Who Woulda Thought?

2006-01-27T13:00:00.000-05:00

The other night my Dad challenged the use of the word "gluey" to describe the back of a linoleum tile. of course, smart ass that i am, i immediately ran to the good old laptop and looked it up on the OED online. Yes, gluey is a word for those of you that were wondering. other interesting tidbits i discovered while mocking my parents at the kitchen table
(a) supercalifragilisticexpiali'docious is spelt with an apostrophe. and no, it was not invented in Mary Poppins.
(b) book-keeper is spelt with a hyphen. my grandfather has been telling us all for years that it's not spelt bookeeper but bookkeeper - he was half-right.
(c) lunch-time is also spelt with a hyphen.
On another front, i have been looking into a masters in administrative science at the John Molson School of Business as a fall-back plan to Yale, Princeton or Oxford. The stats are supposedly a 100% placement rate before graduation and an average starting salary of $85000. Am i the only person who thinks that sounds too good to be true? My Dad suggested i call them up and ask if i can speak to a graduate about the program. i think i might.
Lastly, asides from the hurt knees and ankles i am apparently coming down with a cold. i am starting to get coughing fits. just dandy.
well, my tea has probably steeped and since i have already managed to be relatively productive today, i figure i should continue on with that trend. particularly considering i am supposed to see Lisa tomorrow and she is maybe going to be lending us the Gilmore Girls Season V. I think i am going to do some readings for Violence and Order from 1300-1500. I have scanned and done word lists for the latin passage i have, i only have to actually translate now, and i finished this week's assignment for Italian Renaissance.
Lastly revisits again - i went to coffee hour for the first time yesterday. it was fun talking to the people i got to chat with, eating cheese and crackers, chocolate and veggies and dip. yum. i hope to be able to go again before the end of semester. maybe i will quit working at triple five. who knows?

hi folks...

2006-01-26T08:16:00.000-05:00

i am okay. i am in some pain and coughing a little, but it is mostly schoolwork that has been keeping me from blogging. i am at work now and we got in later, so i need to get my groove on, but i wanted to let all the worry-warts out there know that i am alive and kicking. I promise to post for real tomorrow as i am spending the day at home to do homework, etc. there should be plenty of time.
the big news has been...people are stupid. yup. working the election confirmed that. i will probably explain that rant more thoroughly tomorrow...so keep checking for updates. bye for now my lovelies.

procrastination prevention

2006-01-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

i do not like to post more than once a day, so i figure by posting now, i will avert my desire to blog instead of writing the paper i am currently supposed to be writing.
watched the transporter 2 last night with steve. it was so bad it was funny. that an average joe is supposed to be that fantastic is incredible. spiderman maybe, but not a mercenary. gimme a break.
i have already done some reading for my history of the roman empire class (test wednesday), laundry and wrapped me Dad's present (it's his birthday today). i am not going to break for lunch until this paper is done and satisfactory. it could be a while. i do not even have an outline yet. i need an outline.
i am currently listening to instrumental jazz (coltrane and ellington). it is supposed to be motivating. i am not sure as to it's efficacity.

Damn that Lisa, Part 2 (aka boing boing goes the bouncy ball as it drops of the table)

2006-01-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

ok. so. i am sitting at home nice and calmly after being beaten by my Dad at chess and i say to myself, "self, you know you will end up watching the last two episodes of the Gilmore Girls Season IV anyways over the week-end, so you might as well get it over with now instead of pining for a day and a half before giving in..." bad idea. i have now been thrown from the incredible high of "this is the best way to end a season, i will so be able to finish my homework on this glorious, optimistic high" to "aaaaarrrrrggggggg!!!!"
great. i am doomed. this is lisa's fault. she should not have told me it was a good season and that i should watch it. veronica is also culpable. damn you all, you gilmore girls lovers.
on another angst-filled rant, my body has apparently reverted back to that of a 14 year old's since i have switched from depo-provera to the pill. i have broken out, my hair is oily and i can smell myself. i mean, do you remember in high school when everyone went around wondering if you could smell them, because they could smell themselves? i had forgotten about that stage. i thought i smelt a little like caramel today, which would have been okay if it had been related to a skin product or something, but NO!!! i just smelt like caramel. it wasn't cool. plus, i have sprained my ankle, limping has caused my knee to begin hurting again, and i feel fat. in other words...i am not attractive. please do not tell me how gorgeous i am bryan in response to that. it is all about how you feel inside and i feel yicky.
ok. enough of that. i must get work done...i must, i must, i must increase my bust...whoa, wrong mantra....another revision to being 14 again (oh wait, i still don't have any boobs....hmmmm....maybe i gave up too soon). do i sound like i am losing my mind, because i am losing my mind. i should not be permitted this whole stream of conciousness bit. this is what happens. i need to stop. i should stop. but i can't. i just keep going and going and going (how many times will i write going? will it ever end?)
*reflective pause*
Lisa: if that were a monologue, could you perform it? you should try, i would love to see you do me. the whole "i'm heather bit." it would be great. wait. i don't have a sense of humour. i would be crushed. scratch that idea.
i'm hungry. my tummy is rumbling. that might be because for dinner i had yellow beans, a fruit cup and two cups of tea. i am on a diet remember. plus, the other alternative was soup, but i didn't feel like it.
we had good food at lunch today. it was kim's last day before maternity leave. i added the 2nd half of the title of this blog halfway through the previous sentence. if only i could channel this energy into something constructive. but no, it is doomed to be wasted. like my youth, my good looks, my brains (do i even have the two)?
apparently the bank doesn't think i am good for a $20, 000 line of credit, even if it is to study abroad. If i were in a (check this) TECHNICAL PROGRAM i would be. WHAT? if i were paying an exorbant sum to be a blue-collar worker in Quebec you would lend me 2K, but do get a masters and phd from a university like oxford, i obviously won't ever be able to pay that back as well as, say, a car mechanic. there is no respect in this place for higher learning. the woman at the bank i spoke to on the phone didn't even know what 'classics' were. may she rot in hell.
i feel better now.

Yelling at Stupid People

2006-01-18T16:35:00.000-05:00

So, i told a woman to shut up because she was stupid at election training last night. how much do you want to be she will be the person at the table with me? cool thing is that my parents can bring me in food for dinner. awesome. or maybe i will make my brother bring me something. i do not like brown bagging 2 meals in one day. it is too monotonous.
i still have 1 1/2 articles and 1 1/2 books to read before planning out my oral tomorrow. i may go in with me Dad instead of me Mum for the extra hour in the morning. will depend what time i fall asleep.
i have hurt my ankle and hence have not been going to Cardio class. next week i will go whether it is better or not because i have now missed 3 and want to get my money's worse.
I went shopping today. Boought Merav, my Dad's and part of Steve's birthday present. I love Zellers except, shocker here, they don't take American Express.
Hmmm...i just remembered that i have a clementine in my bag. Cool. I also bought coffee for the lounge at the LAC. Yum. Can't eat fruit and type simultaneously. Will post tomorrow most likely. if not you will have to wait until Friday. Cope dearests.

WOOHOO: A NEW POST

2006-01-16T16:40:00.000-05:00

I know some of you were worried. No need.
Unfortunately, i have been recovering from the emotional episode last week. This has meant a lot of sleeping and not a lot of homework doing. Hopefully i will be okay for my oral on Thursday.
I am posting in class, yet again. My professor was late again, but he is not reiterating all last class. That's a good start.
My Cardio Plus class was cancelled today. Meaning i never took a shower and got changed after class. I am now stuck in stained jogging pants and a Pooh pro-Israeli t-shirt. Probably better that i didn't go outside with wet hair today considering it's -30 outside. I love how in Montreal that isn't a exaggeration.
I ate too much this weekend. Crepes, paella and St-Hubert BBQ. It was yummy though. i also got running shoes for my class from my Mom.
Tomorrow is my training for the election.
Okay, i cannot blog, take notes and run two MSN conversations simultaneously. Maybe later or tomorrow.

boom boom

2006-01-13T14:16:00.000-05:00

ain't it great to be crazy? boom boom ain't it great to be crazy? Silly and foolish all day long...boom boom ain't it great to be...CRAZY.
So, my parents are now aware of the amount i am losing my mind. wednesday night's talk degraded quickly into be bawling my eyes out. An attempt is going to be made for me not to have to work next semester. It will be a group effort of my trying to get a very well paying job over the summer and their trying to cut expenses to be able to pay for more of my expenses (like books).
Steve is currently here putting down a new floor in the entryway. I am supposed to be doing homework, but after 10 pages of Burckhardt i tried to take a nap. After Steve fell through the ceiling in the basement (what a rude way to be awakened!) i have made myself a cup of coffee/hot chocolate and am trying to get back into the groove of things.
Last night we watched the Godfather Part II and Maurice Richard. The latter was very good. The only problem was that, in a tale of French-Canadians overcoming oppression, which i recognize was the case in the 40s and 50s, they used passe simple in the subtitles and captions. passe simple? have the writers never heard of Michel Tremblay? Of verity of expression? No one uses passe simple! I was a little appalled at this out-dated, France oriented convention cropping up in an otherwise uplifting movie of triumph by a minority. Oh well, it can't be perfect.
okay, i will return to readings. i have a seminar to prepare to give on Thursday and a paper due the monday because i get an extra week-end since i am the one giving the talk on Thursday. Lucky. I also have another 13 lines of the Aeneid and over 100 pages of Violence and Disorder in the Late Medieval Era to read. I had better get cracking. I am going with my Mum to buy some running shoes for my cardio class.
Oh, and i have figured out why i am so much less productive than i was in CEGEP...i am having too much fun. Living the life of the ascetic is more conducive to the academic life. i am working on returning to that "no fun" mantra. notice that i was unsuccessful because i permitted myself a nap this afternoon. oh well.

again posting in class

2006-01-11T16:46:00.000-05:00

but this time it's mine. it's now half an hour into class and the professor has only just begun covering material that he didn't already go over in deep detail last time.
the military history guy (AND HE'S AT CONCORDIA?!) is in this class. Ugh.
i am supposed to be going home tonight to talk over what is happening with my parents. i don't know what/when is going on. it's the job that is posing the most of the problem. i am slowly getting used to having been thrown out. i am not sure it is even a good idea to go back. all the people who live on their own seem to feel i should flee the negative situation if it is affecting my grades, which it is, while those who are still at home seem to feel i should make an effort to work through it. i have a proposed middle ground: moving out after this semester when i have some money behind me.
better news: i am going to be working the election. i need to be at a training session on the 17th in Terrebonne at 18h45. This will mean leaving a class i look forward to early. oh well.
If you are interested in an odd historical character, look up SULLA on wikipedia.org. he is quite a card. possibly unlimited power given over freely.
That's enough for now. Until last night this post was going to be about why i am going to hell, maybe inspiration will strike again in the future.

snow

2006-01-09T10:39:00.000-05:00

i am sitting in Prof. Gittes' class on Inferno. I should be paying more attention. However, i had a pretty okay idea on the metro this morning about how snow is different for us non-urbanites.
Snow is quietness. It is a complete and total quietness created by the muffling. This barrier between yourself and the rest of the world is only heightened by the intensity of snow's colour. What else is that white? What else that stark, that bright, yet blocking out all other sights? Lying in freshly fallen snow is like lying awake at night in the complete stillness of a dark house surrounded by warm covers. Snow is somehow warm and cold simultaneously. It is also both permanent and transitory. It can take hours to shovel out a driveway, yet all that work will disappear when on it's own. it's only water, right?
The best part of a snowy day is the quiet. This quiet permits an intenseness of feeling. As a child, did you not feel like the only people on the planet when playing in the vast white wasteland? Snow is malleable. Peals of laughter are louder, brighter and more resonant on a snowy day.
Well, that wasn't successful. I shouldn't try to blog and take notes on class at the same time.
I will share something a little more amusing. The motto written on my LATIN dictionary is: The Foremost Authority on the Language of TODAY.

Damn that Lisa!

2006-01-08T10:31:00.000-05:00

Damn you Lisa! Those strawberry turn-overs were too good. How was i to resist? And now i am feeling guilty about it. Watching the Cinderella Special Features was fun. The Aristocats was better.
My Dad has said he will pay to get my car fixed. This is good because i did not have the money. I am so fed-up with that goddamn car! I am convinced it hates me. Now i am stuck at home waiting for someone to give me a lift. It works just enough to give me a taste for the independence it provides. Ugh. On a more cheerful note, pushing it up our inclined driverway last night probably counted as exercise.
I am only half-way through Burckhardt and i absolutely wanted to be done by the end of the week-end. Not a good start. I did make the Linguine though (too much pasta in the pasta-sauce ratio makes for tastelessness - better luck next time) and two types of soup. Meaning i am provisioned for the entire week.
I cannot decide whether or not to go to the Dante lecture on Wednesday. I cannot go to the Thursday morning one because of work. I do not particularly feel like being stuck in town all evening Wednesday, but the lecture might actually be interesting. I still have two days to decide though.
The highlight of last night was sorting through 45 flavours of Jelly Bellys trying to figure out which was which. It was great. So unacademic, so mindless, so pointless, so instantly gratifying when you were right. I loved it.
Well, i had better go comb my hair or else it will dry all matted. I had also better go finish up some more work before Steve calls. At least he will be happy that with my Dad paying for the repairs i will be able to lend him the money for his car payment as planned.

Dieting and Schoolwork

2006-01-07T09:51:00.000-05:00

Today is about getting lots of schoolwork done. It is also about making soup. Lots of soup. And pasta for dinner for the whole family.
I did some research into the cabbage soup diet. It is essentially the diet i went on in CEGEP and lost 30 lbs with, except i didn't restrict myself to cabbage soup, but at all types of soup. I guess i will be going back to the same.
Last night i watched many episodes of Season 4 of the Gilmore Girls with My Mum and Dad. It was fun. I could not fall asleep afterwards however, as all i could think about what food. I should not plan on cooking at the same time as i am attempting to diet.
Thursday night was fun. I got way too hammered on 2 Southern Comforts and Ginger Ale. I ended up yelling at Steve. Yup yup. fun time.
On another note. Sandra keeps calling me. She just signed in to MSN and is already bothering me. She wants to do something today - but today is cooking and schoolwork. Not eating or hanging out with Sandra.
Yesterday we went to Walmart. I bought watch batteries, nylons and camisoles as well as soap for Steve. Exciting i know. I have Latin and Italian Renaissance homework to do. I am going to work on the Latin, then make cream of carrot soup, then read some, then go grocery shopping, then read some more. i need to eat lunch somewhere in there.
this is possibly the most scattered entry i have ever accomplished. i am all over the place. maybe i will do a better post this evening after hanging out with Lisa.

the beginning of the end

2006-01-05T13:13:00.000-05:00

well, the big news for today is that my Dad is finally going to be putting my grandparents in a home. Apparently my grandfather has not given my grandmother a break from the screaming since New Year's Day. Saturday my uncle is coming down. There will be tears. More than there were today in the office when my Dad called my uncle about it.
other news, i am considering going on the cabbage diet.
more other news, my latin class is going to be awesome. i am really looking forward to it. right now is one of the other courses i have been looking forward to.

I'm Going to Hell

2006-01-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

and not just for the last post. Try this for yourself...
here
Level 8- the Malebolge
Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

That'll teach me...

2006-01-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

This past year has been one of many lessons learned. Primarily, that trying to be nice to people does not work out. Now, i know that sounds cynical - but you will remember that is also the title of this whole blog "The Idealist's Downward Spiral into Cynicism." This is actually the first entry on this particular theme.
In June i stupidly said yes to going out with Sandra for an ice cream cone one weekend. She had invited me to do something at least 7 times before. Sandra is mildly handicapped. Like a 12 year-old. We finally went out another 4 weeks later. I was dragging my feet. It wasn't that bad. Then, she invited me to her birthday party three weeks before the big day: a murder mystery whom no one else i knew was attending. There has been a post about this. It was actually surprisingly not painful. She now continues to call every couple of weeks. She says she hopes i will not be like all her "other" friends who always ditch her. I do not have time for this. I do not see my grandmothers, my parents, my friends or even Steve enough, let alone actually commit enough time to school. She does not get the point. That will teach me.
A similar incident. During the summer, i received a pamphlet from the Council of Canadians regarding Water Rights in Canada. I decided to investigate their organization. They meet at Concordia the first Wednesday of every month and are a very leftist (but not so far as to be communist) group. I like their platforms, so i went to a meeting. It was filled with 7 elderly socialists. Apparently, some of the larger chapters are actually semi-effectual, but head office dictates a lot of policies. Not my cup of tea. I continue to receive emails from the members on a regular basis inviting me to meetings, wishing me well, etc. Will they ever get the point? I recount a load of bullshit about other obligations (ok, they are actually true, but i am heaping it on), but they won't let up.
So, despite my general dislike for New Years and any resolutions: I resolve to not be so nice to wounded birds/organizations in this upcoming year. Truer to my cranky self i will be. Hopefully this will permit me to devote more time to be nicer to those i either love or must live with (like you darlings, and the ever present in-laws).

work, work and more work

2006-01-02T21:37:00.000-05:00

Today i was stuck at reception all day. there were almost no phone calls too because all the retailers were closed. it was so boring i thought i was going to die. i also somehow became a random lady's babysitter because it was apparently bring your kid in to work day, but only she chose to participate (note the sarcasm).
i watched two episodes of gilmore girls and cleaned a third of my massive desk in preparation for returning to school on wedn. i also intend to read a little before bed.
i couldn't sleep last night. worried about all the crap i guess. hopefully tonight will be better. my desk at work is a mess though. ugh. i couldn't get anything done from reception. ok. to sleep.

On Cellular Phone Usage

2006-01-01T22:00:00.000-05:00

i received three phone calls today on my cell phone while i was at Steve's family for the holiday. This has led me to finally engage in a much dreamed of rant against people's obsession with cellphone usage.
People are not available for anyone and everyone 24/7. That i have a cellphone does not oblige me to turn it on, answer it or check my messages. a cellular phone is supposed to be a convenience for the person paying the bill for said apparatus. hence, please call me at my HOME first. This is aimed directly at Lisa, but i also know since i mentioned this problem once before she has taken to calling me at home first as per my request - thank you. Steve also suffers from this problem. Unless you have reason to believe i am out, call home first. i do not screen my calls. i do however, very frequently, just let my cell phone ring because i am too tired to go answer it. half the time it is a wrong number, and another third of the time, i am going to tell the person i am busy (hence why i am not at home) and i will call them back at a later time/date.
My biggest issues with cell phones have to do with the messages people leave and the inappropriateness of answering them sometimes. Some people (i.e. Steve and my father) feel that my voicemail box is a place to rant about how if i am not going to answer the phone, why do i keep it. this refers to the above - a convenience for the payer of the biller, not the rest of the world comment. when leaving a message on someone's cell phone, if the message is day/time specific, pls let the person know when you are calling. "hi, it's me, give me a call" doesn't let me know if you called within the last hour since i last spoke to you, or this is a message from BEFORE you called me at home. Since i don't know what these messages mean they always get erased.
Lastly, when in a deep conversation, eating, or engaging in other bodily functions (showers, shaving, sex...) do not answer the phone. the person will call back if it is important. they will leave a message. nothing makes you feel worse than being put on hold. if i receive a second call in a five minute span, i answer the second one assuming the worst has happened (i.e. someone is in the hospital or needs my help immediately). if it isn't important enough for them to call back...it wasn't important enough to put another person on hold.
I think this need for our friends and family to be constantly available is a sign of some deep sense of insecurity about ourselves. if we aren't plugged in all the time, will the person stop caring? of course not. and obviously i am willing to be pretty technologically savvy and post much of my personal life into cyberspace for the entire world to see.
So, if you're wondering why i don't answer your phone call: i only turn my phone's ringer on when i am expecting a call. otherwise, i only use it for outgoing calls. if the plan is for you to call me at a certain time, i am available. otherwise, leave a message. i might be taking a nap.

On a different note: New Years Eve was okay. I still say it's a stupid holiday. What the hell are we celebrating exactly? Spent some time with Steve's cousin again. Steve was seriously ill from mixing bloody caesars and red wine. he probably gave himself a concussion from hitting the floor three times in a span of ten minutes. he was very apologetic. i know these things happen - it was more the mess he room was in before he was sick all over the place that bothered me. i had to clean that up too of course, to get at the mess. oh well. working tomorrow all day...tuesday too. am going to bed soon. i have a cuddly cat. that rocks.

changes

2005-12-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

well, after much tweaking, i must say that i am actually rather pleased with the outcome. let me know which of the two layouts you prefer. the good news is that i know understand quite a bit more about how blogger templates work. i might one day be able to work on my own.
I finished the book i wanted to finish, i also finished my final project in music history. it just needs to be printed and dropped off at my professor's house on monday. of course, that also means that i need to find the address. you are surprised that finding the address will most likely be a problem aren't you?
on another more exciting note: Lisa's grandmother rocks. She have Lisa $50 to take me out for lunch and gift certificates to the movies. Woohoo. I bought the two dictionaries i wanted, lounged with Lisa, finished my paper and read some yesterday before going to get Lisa at work. Then we went to Elixor (yummy leftovers too!) and then we went to see The Family Stone. It was good. it was definitely a Christmas movie, but it was good. i would not have been thrilled had it cost full-ticket on Friday, but as a free movie (hehe) or a cheapie tuesday movie it was good.
Steve was supposed to go snowboarding yesterday but it never panned out so he just ended up going with his friends to nickels for dinner. this means that i ate better than him. yeah.
Well, it is already getting kind of late in the morning and there is a shower to take and reading to do. i was supposed to work on stuff for the office during this week, but that never happened. maybe later this afternoon or tomorrow evening before going to bed.

new layout

2005-12-30T09:51:00.000-05:00

what do you think? i was supposed to be doing homework, but instead ended up playing with this. the white lines are bugging me. they cut the page wrong, but are integral part of the background image. alas. i will get back to work.

UPDATE: Also just realized i have lost my titles and the comments. Hmm...will play around with that sometime soon.

keeping up appearances

2005-12-29T22:13:00.000-05:00

i don't really feel like this, but after reading that everyone that i read has posted, i feel obliged. for those of you who were informed of this development - steve and i were not broken up. he said he didn't mean it like that and that he was sorry for leaving me hanging. he was just mad. i sent him a text message that was almost an exact copy of the apology he sent me last time he was a big ass, and i think he got the whole "i am sorry, but don't get all self-righteous on me because you can be a moron too" message.
Yesterday was good. we did nothing. i slept for a while during the day, read some of my book, cleaned my room before going to his house and organized bookshelves. we made frittata for dinner. it was good. we watched the godfather and two discs of that 70s show. He was so hot (i mean like burning up fever-wise) in bed that i ended up relocating to the corner of the futon is his bedroom at like 4 in the morning because i couldn't sleep. he woke up about 2 hours later i would say and bee-lined out of the room. then i heard him running around upstairs. i called as he left the room to say i was right here, but he didn't hear me and in the dark couldn't see me. it was funny. he was petrified. it was much like the time i fell asleep in a closed-drawer when i was four on vacation with my parents. they were convinced i had been kidnapped via the open skylight. it was my snoring that eventually clued them into my hiding spot. steve was mad i didn't just wake him up instead of dressing in all his clothes and curling up into a ball on the futon. why would i wake him up?
Apparently i have gotten into the groove of blogging. we finished disc 3 of that 70s show today. we only woke up at like 1pm. we were lazy. his parents had raclette made for dinner. when i got home i ate trifle and fudge. all bryan's cookies have been eaten.
Tomorrow i am going to finish my last project for school and probably will be going to chapters to buy the latin dictionary i could not get in ottawa. they were out of stock. i have checked and they are supposed to have one in pointe-claire.

Christmas #2

2005-12-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

So, apparently my "friends" are mocking me. Nice. it's always good to know that you are being mocked.
To continue where i left off yesterday in the Christmas adventure. Christmas morning i opened presents with my parents after waking up with quite a cotton-mouth and headache. I tried to turn off a lamp that was not even on because it was hurting my eyes. I think i was a tad hungover. I got some nice loot. A deskchair that is supposed to be assembled by the time i get back, a sweater, a pair of jeans, a dressshirt, a necklace watch (i will be able to type without worrying about losing my watch!), a beautiful scarf, hat and mitt set, a pair of "satin" pyjamas, Cinderella...the list continues. Then we came to my aunt's. Lunch was fantastic. All the stuff that just says Christmas is sparkly lights, mashed carrots and turnip, brussel sprouts, turkey, cranberry sauce. yum. i got more good loot. the tea ball was the best. we are planning on going to Chapters to use the gift cards i got on a new latin dictionary.
Then we went to my other aunt's. The food was not as good. she made fudge. i like fudge. my aunt lorraine had made trifle though. i like trifle more than i like fudge. the evening would have been much nicer if my grandfather had not started it by telling me that my Dad could go fuck himself for not wishing my grandparents a merry christmas. anyone who knows how much my Dad worries and cares for his aging parents will realize that there is no way my Dad forgot to wish them a merry christmas. my grandfather is going deaf is the problem. the also stank of guinea pig cage. i was not a good kid and hid a lot to get away from the smell. they should be in a nursing home.
we came back to my aunt's after getting lost in Ottawa. We listened to the Rent Soundtrack (just my Mum and me, my brother and Dad took my grandparents home). We drank more tea and went to bed.
yesterday we spent the day with my grandmother. she smells great by the way. she made us lamb and pork chops. i had homemade apple sauce for dinner. we took naps in the afternoon. i beat my aunt and mom 8-2 at cribbage with my Nana. we rock. we play a lot more than either of them, but i always get put on my grandmother's team on these things because people forget that i play online and am actually much better than they would suppose. we came back here after dinner and i watched Cinderella in bed.
this morning is shopping. i am supposed to be home around 7:30. Hopefully Steve will have dropped off my purse at the house so i may go out and see Veronica before she leaves for Ohio. I know this is a very long and detailed account of Christmas, but i was enjoying myself the whole time and i hope that shows.
I have managed to read a whole 50 pages of the first school book i was trying to read over the break. What break? it's already almost over!

Christmas

2005-12-26T08:17:00.000-05:00

I love Christmas. Even when i am not happy about the presents i bought people i still love the feeling of spending a whole day with the people who knew you as a kid. they have some of the best outlooks on what you are actually like.

The 23rd with Lisa and Veronica was great. We were so at a loss for stuff to do (not a bad thing) that before dinner V & I wrapped fifteen boxes of Tic-Tacs. We wrapped them in ribbon, brown paper, a photocopy of a ten dollar bill, duct tape...anything you could think of. it was a blast, tedious, but a blast. We ate good food, tried to convince Luba we were on drugs. i squeaked the word "tea" at my super-sonic highpitch volume until Lisa could not stop laughing. it was fun. we ate more (clodhoppers) and watched some gilmore girls.

Despite Steve's waiting until the very last minute to get my Christmas presents, i must say i was pleasantly impressed. The top two items on my list: a body pillow and That 70's Show Season 3. He made sure someone else (his cousin) got me the other item i REALLY wanted: the rent soundtrack (yes, i will burn you a copy Lisa). His Mom must have been sufficiently shamed by the nice presents i bought his family last year, because i got a beautiful beige and white striped angora sweater. it is a little itchyy, but beautiful.

I had a nice conversation with his cousin about learning languages, work, etc. She is nice and will be added to my MSN. I knew she was nice beforehand, but i didn't know her MSN sign-in name.

I was a little drunk, my eyes were burning from all the chainsmoking and i had a body pillow and a garbage bag of loot when i walked out the door - did you notice what's missing? no, not a coat, i have lots of coats that wouldn't be a problem. I forgot my purse there.
i will end on that note for now. Me Mum and me infamous Auntie Lorraine are up. Happy Boxing Day. Updates on the Christmas Adventure will follow in the not-so-distant future.

i should go back to subway...

2005-12-22T23:26:00.000-05:00

wow. i haven't been this physically tired since working at subway. i worked all day; it was hell. i brought work home for the week off because i do not want to have to deal with it when i get back. i must do said work on the sly because otherwise a certain father-figure will be mad.

The Chapters at Rockland closed some time ago - news to me. We were supposed to go at lunch, but as it was not there right after work we rushed out to Fairview. My grandmother now has Christmas presents from my parents. Then i came home and had some Chef Boyardee. Then we went to the Metro to buy supplies for the baking extravaganza. I have made chocolate brittle, shortbread, peanut butter cookies and sucre a la creme, plus wrapped it all in a 3 hour period. your applause is appreciated. Note to self: do not place baked goods outside to cool if it is snowing, no matter how lightly.

I yelled at someone today. I do not know who this person was. I thought it was Lisa and Veronica whom i had just spoken to ten minutes beforehand about when i would be able to give them an ETA for Christmas tomorrow. I told my brother in a very loud voice to tell "Lisa" i was busy and would call her back. It was not Lisa. I have no idea who it was. I am sorry unknown caller.

Yeah, so my feet are swollen. I still have some wrapping to do. I have to wait for the cookies to cool before going to bed. Apparently the brittle is best kept refrigerated, but i don't have room in the fridge and i don't think the cookies are best-kept refrigerated. However, brittle is supposed to be all stuck together in my mind. i still have six presents to wrap.

Funness is that i just figured out that i do not have to go downstairs to ask my brother to lend my his digital camera for tomorrow - Lisa has one. Yeah!

I need sleep. i am going to read for a little bit and then off to bed

in the spirit of sharing...

2005-12-22T08:05:00.000-05:00

I found this a couple of weeks ago on msn's news page, but ever got around to posting it. For those it doesn't immediately click with, it's how much the 12 Days of Christmas would cost today.

brilliant

2005-12-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

Gotta love Calvin and Hobbes...My aunt sent me some today that i hadn't seen yet. i didn't know there were any. I am feeling better. Apparently all my digestive problems were school-related because i haven't had an upset stomach since Tuesday night. Woohoo. Got an A- in Latin. Another woohoo. All the presents are bought. now i just have to wrap 6 of them and bake tonight: peanut butter cookies, shortbread and sucre a la creme. hopefully it will all turn out. Merry Christmas everyone!

forgetting something?

2005-12-21T17:49:00.000-05:00

i am exhausted. i have not been keeping up with my blog readings, sorry. i went Xmas shopping today and i forgot an entire side of Steve's family. My Mum is supposed to pick me up some boxes of chocolates for the people i forgot. i need a smack upside the head.

My exams went okay. Did i mention i am exhausted? tomorrow night i have two more people's presents to wrap, plus the ones my Mum is bringing home. I also need to do some baking for my grandfather. i work tomorrow. i want to sleep.

Breaktime

2005-12-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

I promised myself that i would let myself blog between taking notes for the essay question i am prepping and actually trying to outline the sucker. woohoo. what a great break. i think i might go get a chocolate bar or something as a real treat.

Yesterday Steve and I went to the Marche aux Puces in Ste-Eustache. We were shopping for winter coats for him. We were not successful. We came back to my place and goofed off downloading music to make him a new CD. We were going to go out to La Belle Province for dinner (sharing a poutine - how romantic... - it is. if you will remember our first date Vero), but we ended up going over to his friends' new apartment for dinner. She made some kickass italian sausage sandwiches. I know that doesn't sound too kick ass, but i watched her make them and when i do it for you, you'll agree. She also made cheesecake with an all-natural raspberry glaze. yum.

Another one of his friends showed up. Apparently a construction worker has a woosy job. this is news to me, so i guess Steve and i are history because i wouldn't want to be seeing a woos. It was a pretty funny conversation. The guy delivers food to restaurants for a living and apparently it is a very sore spot for him that construction workers think he doesn't have a hard job. Steve says it is a rant that just keeps going.

Well, i have brownies in the oven, a cup of tea, tea biscuits and a blueberry candy cane...i have no more reason to put off prepping the last question of the exam. wish me luck

Quote for the Day...

2005-12-16T16:52:00.000-05:00

i found this while working on my Middle Eastern History final. I think it is brilliant and worth sharing with you all:

Someone once asked Ja'far al-Sadiq (the sixth Imam in mainstream Shi'a Islam) to show him God. The imam replied, "Look at the sun." The man replied that he could not look at the sun because it was too bright. Said Ja'far: "If you cannot see the created, how can you expect to see the creator?"

Worries

2005-12-15T20:42:00.000-05:00

I just got a copy from one of my profs of a syllabus for a 400-level class i signed up for in the new year. I was hoping to get a little ahead by doing some reading over the break (a whopping 2 weeks!). Ha. I have no idea how i am going to do that much reading for one class, and i have another class at the 400 level too. I am going to bomb. Crash and burn baby, crash and burn. Best of all, it was finalized this morning that i am going to be working 8 hours a week. Where will i find the time to do all this? It is a reduction by half, but i think i have almost doubled my course workload. Damn.

I filled out an in-course bursary scholarship form this evening. Tomorrow i have to go take photocopies of some documents and send them in to school. I will be buying stamps then. You may check your mail boxes accordingly.

I plan on watching CSI even though i really shouldn't because i have two exams to prep for. i am secretly hoping Steve works this week-end so i can get more done.

Handel's Messiah was pretty cool. I got shivers quite a few times, which is always a sign it is good, but i swear that i was surrounded by children. This couple wouldn't stop talking, the girl behind me kicked me twice, the lady two seats of kept taking her pen in and out of her purse. It was infuriating. The choral pieces were very impressive. The solos were difficult to understand and often too long-winded for my taste. I have particular reproach for the Soprano, Suzie Leblanc, who was also the Soprano at the Mozart Requiem Mass. You could not understand a word she said, and in Handel, it mattered. Guess what she does for a living? You got it, teach Baroque singing at one of the French Universities in Montreal - surprise surprise.

I was paid for an extra 1 and 3/4 on my pay check. i love little surprised because someone fucked up. Lovely. i did not take lunch today and spent the majority of the day fighting with some asshole at giant tiger who thought he could play mind games via email with me and win. he didn't. i got outright rude and he ended up calling me Dad, who told him off for playing games and not answering the goddamn question. i love winning.

Nothing else of import going on. Like i said, i have too much to do, but am going to waste time nonetheless.

an old slipper

2005-12-13T22:18:00.000-05:00

i am in one of those moods i frequently succumb to where in i want nothing to do with anyone and the concept of a relationship makes me sick. This time it is Steve's fault. I know that is not very mature.

For reasons of confidentiality, and because i do recognize how biased my view of this is, i will give the crux of my being upset in two expressions, the former being how i feel and the second being what my response to any of his answers to my complaints right now would be: "i feel like and old slipper" and "si t'es pas content, tu sais quoi faire."

Enough. i know i am not about to break off our relationship over this and that all my fantasizing about making him pay by never going over on a weeknight or something else equally childish is not going to happen, but sometimes i wish i could just be as immature as i would like to be. sticking out your tongue just wouldn't cut it tonight. a large part of my angst stems from the repetitiveness of these episodes. i should buy a fucking tape recorder - add that to my christmas list.

of course, i hate people in general. i hate my parents, i hate my cats, i ALWAYS hate my brother, and right now i hate my friends. sorry folks, but you are not helpful. i need someone to explain Steve's logic, and i can't get it out of him without having a helluva fight which will not resolve anything. I often wish i had a friend who was also in a long-term relationship who could tell me whether these stupid fights are normal. in fact, i am sure they are. but, i need some new method of approaching them because we are most definitely not moving forward.

Okay, that definitely is enough complaining. i would appreciate it if no one comment on the above. it is more of cathartic rant and i assure you that no matter how hard you try to sound deep and sympathetic, it's going to sound paltry. and yes, i know that was bitchy to say. but it's true.

I am going to Handel's Messiah tomorrow with my parents and my grandmother. i am hoping to finish the paper i was supposed to finish yesterday but only wrote two paragraphs out of six pages because of a very long MSN conversation with Pam.

The last aquafitness class was okay. i got to make an analogy between myself and maurice richard that i had no business making. that alone was worth it. my mum and i went out for pizza beforehand. it was good. i like olives.

Originally today's post was going to be a rehashing of one of my dad's and mine better conversations in the car on the way in. Homosexuality was our topic of conversation. it was not an epiphany or anything, but i thought some of the points might be worth a little better articulation. it began because of Veronica's and mine phone conversation yesterday. yet another reason i did not write my paper. you can tell that hating my friends is not a normal activity for me. :) i am already getting over it. Alas, i am fed up of blogging and am going to go read other people's. hopefully this will reaffirm my connectedness my fellow man. Good night folks.

Oh yeah, and my diet is not working out

a day of fasting

2005-12-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

today i spent 24 hours without eating. i usually consider such endeavours pretty quacky, but i haven't been feeling well for the past little while and thought maybe it would help. you know, cleanse my system, etc. can't say it did much good. i felt fine when i finally ate something, but i still spent the next 3 hours concious of myself digesting. my stomach makes noises. it was probably a good idea anyways because i have eaten so much lately and been drinking more than my usual. no point in getting fat before the holidays.

And, in response to overwhelming popular demand:

My Christmas wish list

Expensive:
• Digital camera
• Ipod
• Laser hair removal of underarms
• Desk chair
• Printer
• Expresso maker with foamer
• Collins Italian Dictionary
• That 70s Show Season 3
• The O.C. Season 2

Pseudo-Expensive:
• Brown leather belt
• Cinderella
• Madagascar
• Toy Story
• Umbrella (long one, not a laser sword)
• Silk/satin pyjamas

Not Very Expensive at all:
• Second Cup Gift Certificates
• Beauty Products from Lush – but no moisturizers
• Warm socks
• A tea-ball
• Herbal tea (not chamomile or citrus flavours)
• Cream blush
• Hair clips (the mouth w/teeth like ones that can go around a pony-tail too)
• Hard candy (not no citrus flavours)

When in Doubt:
• No candles, cookbooks or keychains pls.
• If it’s soft or warm (or ideally both) I will like it.
• I only purchase beauty products that are not tested on animals and encourage you to do the same, particularly if you intend for me to be using them.

it's a wonderful life

2005-12-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

i am watching it for the first time. it has been on for all of ten minutes and i am already crying. i am going to be a blubbering idiot before the end i am sure.

i spent the whole day writing exams except for a brief intermission to eat lunch with Bryan, whom, apparently, is considering being converted into the blogging community. aha! i can be influential. of course, this will mean were thoughtful blogs on my part. not a bad thing overall.

results of today's exams: not too bad on history of china. possibility for good mark on the horizon. fucked up on italian. not because i slacked out of studying but because i was so focused on history of china, which i had to be to have any chance of success, that i knew the answers i was blanking on should have been easy to remember. i hate this feeling. oh well. nothing i can do.

Steve and i went out to dinner. i convinced him to tried capellini instead of spaghetti because he is always complaining when his parents cook spaghetti instead of spaghettini. he was thrilled. i thought it was pretty funny.

Now Lisa, i know that promised i would post my Christmas list, but i have to get it from me Mum and she is watching the movie with me so you will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Blogging....

2005-12-08T17:45:00.000-05:00

i was just perusing the current article on MSN about how people's Myspace accounts are being used by the media after disaster strikes (i.e. the teen murder his girlfriend's parents, heroine overdose, etc). Yeah. I am amazed that this even causes a buzz. Interviewing friends and family has always been fair game, just nobody ever talked, and who posts the truly private into the public domain anyway?

On another note, i am waiting to go to the office christmas party. i have made a tremendous effort - mascara and lipstick folks. be impressed. georgia has already scolded me for not looking my best once because i am only wearing a skirt and a bright pink sweater. speaking of pink, i bought two girlfriends of mine xmas presents today....hmmmm...

Oh yeah, and i also went to the doctor. She took me early if you can believe it. i wanted to fake a heart attack from the shock, but refrained my theatrical devil. i stabbed him with his own pitchfork.

I am hungry. the hors d'oeuvres had better be good. i just helped Kim choose whether to wear her hair up or down. she got it all curled. very pretty. i am jealous. i wish i had had the money to get a haircut.

Crunch Time

2005-12-07T10:45:00.000-05:00

I have a lot to do today and not a lot of time. I just finished one assignment and, hence, am taking a little break before beginning the other MF.

The last couple of days have been weird, but filled with interesting conversations. I will share some thoughts that have popped into my head that i can quickly recall:

Used textbooks do not have GST. This is weird. Why should i pay taxes because the publisher decided to come out with a new edition to make more money. This thought is in response to Lisa's previous blog on taxes on tampons. I think this is weirder to be honest.

I was thoroughly ashamed to be a white anglophone under the age of 40 on the metro last night. The crudest, most offensive and ignorant group of teenagers got on the metro and the stuff they were discussing made me sick. White trash is infinitely worse than any minority.

I dreamt that i was in a Harry Potter video game. Are there Harry Potter videogames? I was looking for the items needed to confront Voldemort, but somehow the author of the series was in the game - but it was a man! I know damn well J.K. Rowling is a woman. There was also a weird Watership Down-like adventure precluding this, but it was with bears not rabbits. I also performed some sort of Aerosmith song on swinging ropes over a river. I think i am going to take a blanket off my bed. I have these odd dream sequences whenever i am overheating and i know this particular only lasted about 10 minutes of real time. I was very perplexed upon waking up.

Chocolate cake should not be eaten for both breakfast and lunch. At least, not by my who was thoroughly ill (as i feeling horrible) all yesterday and this morning because my body was overdosing on the empty calories. Maybe that the chocolate cake had been left out all night without being either saran-wrapped or refrigerated also contributed. I do not know.

One Happy Grandma

2005-12-04T15:36:00.000-05:00

I have to go to five concerts for music history class. The last i will be attending is Handel's Messiah on December 14th at 7h30pm. To kill two birds with one stone, i had decided to take my grandmother as her christmas present. She is ecstatic. I brought her the ticket today and it took her quite a little while to figure it out, but she is very happy. She has never seen the Messiah. i am hoping it will be worth the huge fuss getting her there and back will be.

I finished my latin translation project. I need to type it up. I finished my music history readings. There is still much to do, but it least i am moving forward.

Last night my Mum and i drank too much wine and egg nog while decorating the tree. We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas (i own a copy on VHS). It was fun. I wrote out some Christmas cards - watch your mailboxes people!

Today me Dad, meself and me grandmother went to the dollar store to buy wrapping paper, tissue paper, cookie tins and other decorating type stuff for presents. i bought a hairband with mr. and mrs. claus on it. it will drive Georgia nuts because she was upset over the reindeer antlers. oh how i love being bothersome.

i know this is evil, but...

2005-12-03T23:41:00.000-05:00

This is why my homework is not done

mission statement

2005-12-03T17:32:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not have noticed, i am horrible at the whole "titling my blog" concept. I hate blurbs on of any sort, but as i write that i also realize that this is contradictory to the very concept of a blog.

So, i am going to do something that i have never done before in any sort of serious manner - write a mission statement. i recently removed the link to my profile in the sidebar, so this will just have to do.

Why i write this meaningless, not-so-smutty junk
I like reading other people's blogs. Strangers, acquaintances and friends. Friends mostly; i check everyday. I love the voyeuristic feeling of trying to get to know someone through what they write. I know this is a crock of shit. You can never really KNOW someone, and particularly not a stranger through 500 words a day. But, it remains a creative activity on my part to attempt to construct an individual from the words scattered across the page. I always wonder how much my own writing really reflects who i am. when i re-read it myself, i am always astounded at how calm i appear when often i begin writing in a frantic, semi-panicked state. of course, any one who knows me, and as far as i know i only have readers that are friends as i have never submitted myself to any larger blogging group, know that i am usually in a frantic, semi-panicked state. However, as i am unable to multi-task my attention span, the amount of focus blogging requires usually does calm me down. It is incredibly soothing. If you don't blog yourself, i do suggest it.

Okay, enough of that tangent. I was MSNing with a friend earlier this week and described my motives for blogging as "an attempt to dissuade myself from the belief that i might actually be able to write someday" but a lot less well-phrased. I think that is a pretty good sum-up actually. To recap - i blog to reflect on how stupid my freaking out over the days events is and i blog to prove to myself that i am a crappy writer.

So...i invite my readers...all three of you...to do engage in two activities: 1) reflect on whether before i told you this in black and white, the contents of this blog reflect my goals in writing it; 2) reflect in your own blog (if you have one) on why you keep up the activity. I would love some creative brainstorming.

I am very close to sending the link to this monstrosity out to people in my academic world. mostly by making it the signature of my emails. Of course, this step is terrifying. These are people who WRITE, seriously, not in my half-ass way. Who will judge me and don't already love me (or so i hope Lisa, Vero and Lorne love me). I am bracing myself. I need more content. I am working on it.

on the sly

2005-12-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

I am writing on the sly because Steve isn't working today and he came over to spend the day watching me do work. he had to go to the bank to pay a bill though, so i am using this time to write a quick post.

Last night i chatted with an old friend from high school - Joey - who is doing pretty well for himself. he is an illustrator of children's books. pretty awesome. it is exactly what he always wanted too. makes me feel like a nothing, but i hope i will smooth my life out over the next couple of years.

i also put off doing work last night because i was researching other webhosting services that support WordPress. They all cost money and though some of them are very nice, i don't think that i can justify putting out that kind of cash any time soon. I do have a livejournal right now with only one post, but i am just playing with the colours for the hell of it.

I invented a new casserole last night as there was nothing to eat for dinner. i made spaghetti noodles, grated carrots, cut up a stalk of celery, grated cheese and opened a can of tuna. it all went in the over for like 20 minutes. it was a little wet (i used milk when i should have used mayo), but it was actually quite tasty. at least i didn't starve. there is even one portion left over for lunch today. yeah!

Well, i had better make some semblance of doing homework. These past posts have been so banal, i know. i am hoping to write something a little more interesting over the break. maybe even a short story if i feel inspired. i have an idea brewing, but no writing has been spawned yet.

wearing antlers

2005-12-01T08:31:00.000-05:00

aha you say...It's the first day of December! The Christmas Carols are now playing on endless cycle on my office CD player and reindeer antlers are protuding from my head. Everyone is in a panic over how nuts i am, but it is great. I love being the centre of attention!

My latin exam went very well after all. Luckily for me, the passages that i had had extreme difficulty translating the first time around were all on it and because it had been such a painstaking experience originally i had essentially memorized them. Woohoo.

I still have tons to do, but at least that's off my plate.

I MAY be going out tonight. Wouldn't that be fun? it all depends on the folks at school figuring out where they want to go before i leave here during the day. Julius in shipping has agreed to buy me a rudolph nose if i will wear it all afternoon. It is going to be one kooky day. I love the holidays...even when i am poor!

Serendipity

2005-11-29T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well, last night I experienced it - serendipity. After going to a concert of Bach’s funeral cantatas, Bryan and I headed to U-Lounge for a drink. We apparently walked in on the Quebec Student Health Alliance’s Christmas party. We ate sushi, calamari, brie, filet mignon, lamb, sesame beef and other finger foods as well as drinking for free. I am forced to eat my peanut butter and jam sandwich for lunch today rather than for dinner last night as had been planned. The waitresses would not accept tips and the bartender poured Bryan a triple of a $200/bottle scotch without even measuring. God must have heard the two of us sobbing in our respectives beds the night before over money troubles and schoolwork and decided to give us a treat. Too bad we only had an hour and a half to kill, though clearly no more food could be consumed, I would have been up for more drinking…
Other than that, things are “okay” I guess. I don’t know how I am going to get my car’s wipers fixed and I have a big test in Latin that I am not prepared for at all tomorrow afternoon, but I am hoping to be able to review all the material at least once this evening after music class and tomorrow morning. There is also a ton of work to do at the office, but i am trying to focus on one thing at a time. Stressing does not make anyone more productive.

little random comments

2005-11-27T09:39:00.000-05:00

Went to see Rent last night: God those people can sing. i really really liked it. i want the soundtrack. i want the movie on DVD when it's released. i loved being able to feel smart because i understood the references to literature and philosophy. i want to live la vie boheme. i do not want to get AIDS (obviously).

Thoughts on Blogger: I was reading about the Canadian blog Awards, voting was last Thursday, and a surprising number of them are hosted on blogger. now, i like blogger and all, but i think the best of the country would most likely be found on someone's personal space, no? of course, i have had to give up on the website since my FTP uploader stopped working. lovely.

The weirdness of language: When did "grandma" become a derogatory term? I was reflecting about this on the metro. what's wrong with our society that we call old people family members to insult them? this is ridiculous.

Lastly, an update on my car: The wipers died. Lovely. Because i needed another repair bill before actually buying that stupid for sale sign. it looks like i am officially not going to be working next semester. part of me cringes at this idea, but another part of me is revelling in it. i am torn. is this good or bad? will i be able to cope with all my spending money being debt?

Plans for today: i am going to go fold my laundry and take a shower. then i am going to study for my latin test on wednesday. depending on how long i can manage that, i may spice it up a little with some studying for italian and working on my final project in latin. oh yeah. and i am supposed to see Steve today. what we will do is a true mystery. i don't feel up to lounging in front of a tv all day but i see no other options for the poverty stricken. i have $5 for the week after gas and that does not include what i will have to find to get the wiper fixed. crap.

reasons why i haven't been posting

2005-11-25T16:02:00.000-05:00

There are so many. Primarily, i have been engaging in some serious non-academic reading. Watership Down, which by the way is FANTASTIC, if you have never read it do so, and a novel by Amelie Nothombe entitled Robert des noms propres. Also very good. Yeah, we've reached that time of semester where i manage to find tons of activities to avoid doing the work that is piling up and looming over me. The good news is that despite finishing both these books i have completed by arab essay, done my latin homework and begun my final project for latin. i have 13 out off 55 lines pseudo-translated. They do not make sense, but there are English words.
I had intended this post to be a tad longer, but Steve just called and he is already at home so i need to get ready to sleep over at his house tonight. i did not see him this week at all because of bad traffic and snowstorms. i hate winter. the only good part is the mittens, scarves and toques.
i am going to see RENT with Lisa tomorrow! Woohoo.

fleas...

2005-11-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

The cats have fleas. I can’t cope. Besides the torturing them by fastening a piece of plastic around their necks which make them scratch all the same, we brush them for at least half an hour each day hoping to manually remove every little egg and nasty, creepy, jumpy bug. I’ve been bitten numerous times during the past couple of weeks, but, oblivious to the facts, mistook the itchy bumps for spider bites. Spider bites that disappear in within a couple of hours of waking. I am stupid.
It was the bites that clued us in finally. Apparently my Mum is particularly appetizing to vermine. Which is ironic, because when we were infested with head-lice when I was in high school, thanks to that bane of a younger brother again, she was immune.
I have had at least three nights now of flashbacks to waking up in the middle of the night and combing the little buggers off the base of my neck. I ended up shaving my nape with a razor and wearing a ponytail really low on my head for at least eight months. It was hell.
So, on reflection, this experience has pointed out two aspects of modern society: one good, one bad. Not having parasites breeding, feeding and sucking on your body is definitely a plus. However, why are there little liquid caps to be applied to the nape of a cat’s neck to get rid of fleas, but not a similar remedy for the head lice that still circulates in primary schools. If I contract cancer later, I will know it came from spraying my head with the toxic lice-killing product for my MATTRESS after two years of useless shampooing.

good night

2005-11-20T22:57:00.000-05:00

for the first time since school started i have completed all the homework i planned to get done this weekend before an ungodly hour on sunday/monday night. i am celebrating my not writing a long blog to keep me up longer. i may write tomorrow, but i am pretty fed up of typing this weekend and know it is only going to get worse as i have more papers to do and reports to write at work this week. i am feeling good though. plus, my car is running and parked on my driveway...if anyone is interested - $2000. I need the money to buy my books next semester. pass it on.

writing a paper

2005-11-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

i have a big paper due for monday and i am trying to write it tonight. unfortunately, i have spent too much time in the last two days watching the gilmore girls and am now getting pretty stressed out. i still have other work to do too, but it is the paper that is a problem. i am taking a break now to blog and then do another page of latin (also monday as well as an italian chapter test again).
i worked 17 hours this week. money is good. my car is supposedly fixed now. i am go pick it up saturday if all goes to plan. i went out for breakfast with Isabelle this morning, ate french toast, crepes, a heap of fruit and english cream before we walked back to my house where i burned a CD with some pdfs for school for her (she doesn't have the internet). i did laundry, my china history readings and fell asleep. i started writing my paper, did two pages of latin and then watched another two episodes of gg before spaghetti for dinner. not super productive. i have written another paragraph of my paper, confirmed that i have no italian homework just studying and am now blogging. i am not going to go to bed until the paper is done and i am going to do a page of latin in between each paragraph, so i will be lucky to be finished by 1am. it's my own fault.
tomorrow i am supposed to go get my car and go to walmart with my dad and grandmother because he asked me to as a special favour. i am hoping to be able to watch my China lecture tomorrow too. Maybe Sunday i will be able to start my latin project due the last day of classes...oh wait. i have a test in latin next wednesday. what's more important to start? God i hate this.

How we read...

2005-11-16T11:25:00.000-05:00

Today's blog is only on the videotron site. I put this here to let you know and give you the opportunity to comment should you choose.

New found issue

2005-11-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

Problem i have encountered: i cannot blog on the videotron site from the office. oops. i guess i could just write up a blog and send it to myself, but then how would my avid audience cope with having to wait another whole day before finding out what happened to me? Maybe i should rethink the whole relocation of blogging concept. no. i like having a website with my own, albeit messy and overly simplistic, design. you'll just have to cope. or i can continue blogging here when i am not on the laptop and just copy and paste later.
I got an A+ on my Arab History Midterm. This is good. I managed to connive a new assignment out of my Latin professor because i CANNOT translate Cicero. It is impossible. I should get the new assignment on Wednesday, however, Sunday night i spent a good hour trying to translate one sentence, got nowhere, and ended up simply watching TV for the rest of the evening. I have so much work to do i could hit myself.
my Mum is now a falafel addict. She wants to eat Lebanese every Monday night before Aquafitness. this is funny but sad because i am already on an almost entirely Lebanese diet because of the cheapness of the food.
Lunch at Carlos and Pepes was great. I was stuffed and intellectually stimulated. I had better get to work.

waiting for water to boil...

2005-11-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

I just finished a lovely dinner of chicken thighs my Mum made. Surprisingly enough, that is not a sarcastic comment. I am waiting for the water to boil so i can make tea and consume insane amounts of banana bread while attempting to translate 60 lines of Cicero's Scipio's Dream.
I think this will be the last week of posting to blogger rather than the videotron website. I am going to try and set-up a comment section, but if i can't i will just include a form for my readers - ha - to email me responses.
Last night i got drunk on three different types of alcohol: tequila, sambuca and vodka. We were finishing the bottles in Steve's parents' liquor cabinet. I do not actually remember falling asleep. After a day of hardcore studying it was a much deserved break from thinking. i discovered that i really like romantic program music however. Useful day. I am also far enough to begin writing my Arab History paper. I am going to stick to Latin this evening however.
Steve and I watched both Ghostbusters today. He shaved his head. It is quite a look - skinhead with a chipped front tooth. We made a big breakfast of little potatoes, cheesy scrambled eggs and toasted belgian bread. yum. it made up for my lean cuisine and grilled cheese sandwich dinner the night before.
i can't come up with anything deep right now. i should also seriously consider some creative writing soon, as i have gone a whole week now without making so much as an attempt. ugh. does designing the website count as "creative" because it should. i am looking forward to coffee with Lisa tomorrow.

promises

2005-11-11T23:57:00.000-05:00

i promised myself that i would blog tonight. i have a headache and my cat is determined to sit on the laptop. i want to see that i am in pain wil evidence itself in my writing. i think it might be easier to push further when it's crunch time at school if i really thought it would help and that my work would not just be crap. from the few times i have tried to finish latin translations after midnight, i have learnt that it is pointless to do more than 15 minutes or so.
yesterday i was supposed to do homework during the evening. i ended up getting my italian exercises done while watching CSI and doing my assigned readings for Chinese History before going to bed. The rest of the evening was "wasted" talking to Lisa and working on the CSS and index page for the webpage. Talking to Lisa was not a waste. I am happy to find out how she is doing. The webpage was though. A waste i mean.
i got a phone call at about 9am this morning, a hour into my homework doing and steve told me that he was not going to work today. i called him back and told him he couldn't come and pick me up (my car is broken again, but that's a different blog entry) until 11:30 because i just had too much to do and tomorrow couldn't replace today because i have an optometrist appointment. This upset me more than it should have. At 12 he was not here so i called and he had fallen asleep.
We went to see Jarhead this evening. it was very good. like full metal jacket but not as purposelessly disturbing. he loses it in one scene, but it is more effective if the guy has to live with the consequences of his actions anyways.
work went well yesterday. Neil had me explaining the origins of credit notes to him. i got to write up an essay on it (okay, not an essay, but i can't think of any other word right now, headache remember?) which, because i was in a peevish mode, mimicked the origins of species a little and included a section title in latin. yeah. i'm a loser. hopefully Neil will want to keep me even at eight hours a week next semester. Dad thinks he will, but he always overestimates my intelligence.
i only have five minutes left until it becomes tomorrow and i wanted a post for today. i did write SOMETHING yesterday. The mission statement on the webpage. it sucks. i can't write about myself or my goals without it being horribly one dimensional. i guess everything i write is very one dimensional, but i am more critical of my expressions of things that are important to me.

adverbs are the bane of my life

2005-11-09T13:38:00.000-05:00

what a catchy title you say...
well, they are. i don't mean the normal adverbs that fit those oh so NOT useful definitions we were taught in high school: "words that modify a verb." I am refering to those pesky, unrememberable adverbs that are called "adverbs of time" or "adverbial conjuctions." have you never asked yourself what type of word "now," "today," or "furthermore" are? Well, i give you the answer. And they are a bitch to memorize, because in every day usage we take them for granted. They have come to haunt me in Italian now rather than just Latin (they are pretty much the only words i always have to look up in a dictionary now in the latter). We just completed a test on "adverbial prepositions," i.e. above, below, inside, outside...yup. those are adverbs. you try differentiating them. not fun.

on another note, i spent a good hour working on the other website. should you feel the need to check out the new layout, you can do so at this link. I found the time because my latin class is cancelled today. woohoo. i am going to go to Prof. Gittes' lecture of the Aeneid instead. Fun fun.

racial minorities and crime

2005-11-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

have you ever heard of a black serial killer? or a hindu child molester in north america? what can explain what appears to me to be a genuine phenomenon - i.e. those not of the ruling (i.e. white male) class or less likely by far to engage in horrible abborations of social norms. Actually i have a theory, you are surprised i know...
I think that this weird phenomenon stems from the fact that implicitly society validates the failure of any non-white male. White males have no excuse for failure, but on the other hand, society will permit them, just via their white maleness, to maintain a very limited sense of success for a short time (say to their early 20s). As they reach full-fledged adulthood, they are no longer able to function because they are actually so estranged from the goals of their social class - but they have nowhere to turn. Members of minority groups not only have a more worked out social network (i.e. a defined subgroup of semi-kin) but also have no "excuse" for not succeeding. This sense of powerlessness and failure exhibits itself in extreme cases as serial killers and child molesters - needing to hurt others solely for the purpose of making themselves feel power. note that unlike rapists, this is a long-term source of gratification - i guess the same would apply to serial rapists too like Paul Bernardo, but i also kind of consider him a serial killer so he doesn't destroy my argument. Members of minority groups (and in this case even women) who suffer from such problems manifest them much earlier on and they might even be channelled. Black youths in inner city areas turn to street gangs (as do other minority groups), women turn to prostitution or drugs and sometimes they recover.
Anywho, i am always interested in uncovering ways in which society is not just for the benefit of the "ruling class" because i find so many examples of affirmative action repulsive to my egalitarian principles. should there really be compensation for factors that are perhaps equally noxious to the other sex/group?
Lorne - i am particularly interested in your social/psych interpretation of my more philosophical theory.

feeling better

2005-11-08T08:17:00.000-05:00

The link for this page is a horrifying story about obesity-rights advocacy. I can't get over how people want to be absolved of responsibility for even their eating habits now.

Last night i was very ill. i did not have a fever, but i couldn't get warm. i spent a good two hours shivering in bed under four blankets wearing flannel pyjamas, woolen socks and gloves. I won't be going to aquafitness again if i react to it the same way next week. i didn't finish my homework because of how cold i was. and all my joints were aching. lovely.

yesterday went well i guess. my latin prof. gave me my final assignment so i can start that. my arab hisotry prof okayed my paper which forces me to read as much of the Arabian Nights as possible - and i think that is great! i couldn't stay awake in italian though.

Bryan and i talked about the concert i went too on thursday and we discussed why i reacted the way i did to it. I now how the validation for why i didn't get into it. Plus, i think i am pretty smart because people who now what they are doing agreed with the evaluation i made on my own. i almost lost my ticket this weekend though which would have sucked because i still have to prove i was there to my prof to get the credit.

my discussion about people not generally being observant was aimed at the people i meet in the office all the time mostly. i think my friends are pretty smart - for obvious reasons - THEY LIKE ME! Okay, so they have bad taste.

Someone is whistling, which means i could get caught any minute blogging instead of working. eep. maybe i will post from music since i have no more assignments due until the end of semester.

Observant Friends

2005-11-07T12:35:00.000-05:00

I had a very nice time Saturday. Sunday sucked as Steve and i spent the whole day fighting, but what can you do?

I reflected on how nice it is to hang out with people who are generally more observant than the general population. Apparently, my conversation really reflected my desire this weekend to be kind of validated as an attractive creature and i kept having the same conversation over and over again with different people. the overall effect was me feeling better about myself. nice. originally this little blurb was going to be a bit of a reflection of how people can read other people's vibes if they just pay attention, but i don't feel up to it anymore.

on another note, and this one is more soul-bearing, yesterday with Steve was just so miserable that i don't know if i can take it anymore. i don't see why i have to validate the desire to spend time with my friends from school over the weekend just because there are guys involved. i do understand why it is upsetting for a significant other to be excluded from an activity. after much soul-searching i wonder how it is that we are still together. hard-headedness on both our parts i imagine. and because of car troubles and general money-worries he is on a binge of saying he wants to kill himself already...but how much of my being fed-up is actually my own inability to feel anything because of stress... i think the most upsetting element in this for me is the feeling cornered by his problems asides from our relationship and being prevented from making a decision. i am pretty sure i would not be considering breaking-up if i actually felt i could. but i can't. because i'm not that cruel. knowing you can't do something is just about the best way to find yourself contemplating if it might not be the "right" thing to do. i need a break from my life. i want to be needy and not the rock.

okay, that's enough dissing steve. it's horribly unfair as no one hears his side of the story, which i am sure is equally valid (if could stop my inner monologue long enough to actually hear it).

I am a little upset that no one gave me any contribution towards the gas purchased for car-pooling. i hope some people will step up to the plate and be responsible. as my dad says, if they don't it will just prove how horribly hypocritical left-wing students are...sharing the wealth is fine until it's your wealth...

baking a cake...i mean loaf

2005-11-05T14:48:00.000-05:00

there is a banana loaf in the oven. i plan on sharing it with the people who are coming to the LAS's annual Theme Week-end: This week-end's theme: "Murder in the Forum" a murder mystery/toga party. I have the wine bought, the car packed, and am getting kind of antsy to leave at pick up my carpoolers at the Cote-Vertu metro.

yesterday was a boring day. i spent the majority of the morning making directions and confirming they were right by driving up there. i managed to get a little homework done and some cooking. I went to Steve's, ate left-over chinese food for dinner and when going to return a movie, he got a ticket. now, though he says he stopped at the stop-sign, and i don't remember and i actually believe him because otherwise i think he would just complain about the purposelessness of a stop sign there, he is going to be able to get out of the ticket anyways because the police officer stupidly made out the ticket for not stopping at a stop-light. There is no light at that intersection (if you want to call it an intersection, it's where videotron's parking merges with a teeny residential street) and we can prove it simply enough by taking a couple of pictures. so we spent the whole evening worrying about money matters (we meaning him with me just be quiet while he fumed) and this morning when we actually took out the ticket and read it, lo and behold, no problem. i like it when things get resolved easily.

i got breakfast in bed this morning which permitted some extra reading while it was being cooked upstairs. yummm. and Arabian Nights is great! I can't believe no one ever reads it. There is a problem with our choice in reading material apparently.

okay . i need another cup of tea and should probably start my latin homework. i just didn't want anyone to think that i had dropped off the face of the planet. tata for now.

disappointments

2005-11-03T13:45:00.000-05:00

last night's concert was a let-down. though it was worth the money, for it was free, i was expecting something more captivating. i didn't recognize that we were actually listening to the symphony's first movement until it was over and the mass was unable to keep my mind from wandering. the trombones would drown out the alto and the bass solo performers when they would come in. that also was sad.

my last class of the day was cancelled yesterday. that sucked. we only found out after we got there. daniel ninot and i, however, went bookshopping in Indigo. i bought 1001 nights (for class) and a book for my Dad for Christmas. i love indigo.

Today's Creative Writing Attempt:

You know the day is going to be long when, even though you wake up five minutes before your alarm, you can't muster the strength to toss the covers back and put your feet on the floor. It begins with: "Just two more minutes" and you listen to the sounds of the house awakening - cats munching on crunchy kibbles, parents opening pantry doors, toasters popping. you open one eye slowly and attempt to focus on the clock.
fuck. you roll over. you contemplate why you need to get up anyway. you silently bemoan the sun being hidden behind the clouds providing that state of grey-darkness so perfect for sleeping in.
you tell yourself you're being dumb and roll back over.
another minute has passed.
you decide to fall back asleep until the alarm rings. fifteen seconds later you realize just how upsetting that will be: the last thing you need this morning is a screeching, buzzing cacophony stuck on endless cycle in your head. but then again...
you begin to count..."in 10 seconds i'll get up," you count to twenty.
you put your head under the pillow and give yourself a pep talk: "if i don't get up, nothing will get done. i can sleep in three days from now." but this begins the prioritizing and re-prioritizing of a to-do list you went to bed to get away from in the first place. you are beginning to seriously consider staying there all day. "what's the point? it's not like getting up is going to help."
As you put out your hand to turn it off, you realize it is going to sound in less than a minute.
damn. and you're awake anyway.
Slide the switch from left to right. You put your feet on the floor, scramble for slippers and begin the day. at least you didn't hear that stupid alarm clock sound.

what comes around goes around

2005-11-01T22:20:00.000-05:00

i don't actually believe in karma, but today my skepticism is being put to the test. as you may or may not know already, i stole a very desk-chair from the computer downstairs that my brother is always sitting at to write an exam two weeks ago. i have not given the chair back as i have decided that i "deserve" it more, i.e. i do homework in it. well, my cat has stolen the chair for the second consecutive evening. he sleeps there during the night too, so it isn't just a question of moving him. I have lost my bed buddy! Sniff...

I have come to a decision about next semester. If i can find a job for only 8 hours (roughly) a week, i will take 4 classes. If i cannot find myself a job that will permit only working one day, then i will enroll in a fifth class. i am aware this is not a cost-effective solution, but i think for the fifth class i might take something different like biology, journalism or creative writing.

drunken dads

2005-10-31T12:17:00.000-05:00

i am not getting anywhere studying for my italian midterm because i keep thinking about the two things i really want to blog, so i will blog one of them.

But first...i am thinking of writing something about the nature of humour. i have some ideas, but i was wondering if you (my 3 readers) have any thoughts on what makes a person funny? i want to turn this into a bit of a creative non-fiction piece. your thoughts will be appreciated.

So, last night Steve was at my house watching Ghostbusters (with me) and he got a call from his Dad to "come home right now." His Dad had driven the car into a ditch and a hydro pole while driving home drunk from an amateur hockey game. He was supposed to pretend it was him and that he had left the scene of the accident because he had been so upset. Obviously, this didn't work. Steve did not match the description the witness of the accident gave of the man who got out of the car and called someone for a lift, he did not look like he had any reason to have fled the accident and it just wasn't very believable to the cop. the cop, however, was nice enough to tell steve that the lie he recounted would give him a criminal record for obstruction of justice. he told steve they would start the conversation over and that he understand why someone would try to save a parent from a drunk driving charge. we had to go back and get jean because if he didn't present himself at the scene of the accident he would have lost his license anyways. while we were gone the cops changed shift. the new, lady cop, not that i think that that has anything to do with this, was very upset that jean was going to get away with his drunk driving because he fled the scene. steve was rather severely told off for implicating himself and she told him that, were it up to her, he would be charged because, unfortunately, what jean did works. they cannot prove that you were "driving" drunk because you return to the scene of the crime drunk. you could have been so upset when you got home that you drank. anyway, this was a horrible situation. i felt really bad for steve and jean was just an ass. questioning how steve delivered the bullshit story. you were driving DRUNK! He thought because he didn't hit anything/one it would be okay. ha. steve was racing home so much, he didn't know what had actually happened until he saw his dad face-to-face, that he blew his already damaged suspension. his dad was like "well, you shouldn't have driven so fast." i mean, come on, you call someone and tell them to RACE home. what do you expect. you are at least partially responsible for something they do in an attempt to save your ass. well, it was an interesting night. i stayed in the car for the whole thing. it was none of my business, right? i almost had to get out though because for a second it seemed that steve was going to continue with the bullshit story in an attempt to save his Dad, but i could hear the cop explain the consequences and i was going to have to get out of the car and start screaming that it wasn't true, he had been with me, yada yada. it would have been quite a fight after. i am happy it was avoided. imagine getting a criminal record to protect your dad from the drunk-driving charge he has been asking for for the past 6 years. how many times has steve come and gotten him after he had to lock the keys in the truck because there was a roadblock up ahead? i swear...whose the parent and whose the child?

movies and jazz

2005-10-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Lisa and i went to the movies yesterday after discovering an excellent new bookstore in Laval of all places. i bought two books, one french novel for me and a night before christmas for kim at the office. i couldn't resist buying a book. who can? well, lisa did.

we went to see "Prime." It was very nice. Sweet, fun to look at, and FUNNY. The end left me feeling like an emotional husk however. i do not think i will be buying it when it comes out of DVD, but i will probably rent it with me Mum for a girlie night.

I fell asleep on Lisa's couch while watching an episode of the Pretender when Jarod is a Gigolo. It was a good episode. I never realized how stupid the Pretender really is as a show. It is incredibly predictable for a show that makes no sense.

We went out for breakfast. Lisa would not let me blog at her house because she said i would have to sign out of blogger and sign back in as myself and that she did not remember her password. This is almost as funny as her complaining about turning back the clocks. Gaining an hour is the best thing that could possibly happen! I needed an hour very badly. I borrowed two jazz albums and am currently listening to them. there was much reading done this morning. hopefully this trend of productiveness will continue.

Mosquitoes

2005-10-29T16:35:00.000-04:00

There are still mosquitoes in my room. I kill about one a day. I do not know from whence they come, nor do i care, but they are just one of the many things that bother me during my day. It is particularly troublesome to attempt to fall asleep with a mosquito in your room as you are aware that it will (a) bite you during the night and (b) lay more eggs promptly to produce more mosquitoes. I do not have a pool of stagnant water nor any plants in my room. Suggestion?

Yesterday my car broke down. My mechanic has no idea what is wrong with it. I am more than a little upset about the concept of having bought a car and not being able to drive it because i cannot afford the repairs.

Yesterday Steve and I had a fight. It was particularly nasty. It ended in me crying for over an hour about the state of my life: both financial and academic. No resolutions to my plight have been found, but at least i stopped crying. Then we had another fight as i was being dropped off about my going to theme weekend - a college outing. apparently i am supposed to listen to his insistent complaining that i am sleeping at the lodge "with other guys." The other girls that are there are always left out of this complaint. I will not be engaging in a forty-person orgy anytime in the near future.

This morning i woke up much too early (7:30) and attempted to do some much needed homework before taking my grandmother shopping at Walmart. She was very grateful for the outing. I was tired. I got home at 2:15 and ended up falling asleep to my History of China lecture, so somehow i am half way through the weekend and have almost none of the homework i was going to get done this weekend while Steve is away. Notice that i am blogging instead of correcting the situation.

parents...

2005-10-27T22:13:00.000-04:00

my parents are assholes. they aren't really. but my Dad actually asked me why i was asking my Mum for $3 to get home from work tomorrow this evening. I know absolutely no one needs to read me on one of my double-standard rants, but i have had it up to HERE. Lisa, i am so going to try and move out with you next year. If a whole week goes by without me ending up in tears over this stupid scenario i will die of shock. Reasons why my Dad had no right to question my needing $3:
1. I didn't ask him for three dollars. i asked my Mum
2. My brother is given $5 everyday he goes in to school to take the bus and metro. Apparently, this is not the same thing according to my Dad because it is for "school." Let's remember why my brother takes the bus and metro in to school everyday. Oh right, because he wasted my parents' hard-earned money by failing last year and being kicked out of real school.
3. Nobody pays for my haircuts but me
4. Nobody bought me a $3000 computer. I put myself in debt for this baby.
5. My car is in the shop and costing me $70 to get fixed so i won't have to ask my parents to drive me everywhere, unlike piece of shit - don't worry Lisa, it will be fixed for Saturday.

The reasons continue, but i am sure you would be just more bored. I actually had a very nice day that included going out for a french martini with Bryan at Upstairs, a Jazz bar on Mackay i highly recommend. it was very nice. i had some good thoughts to share, but i am too upset right now to think them out. sorry.

A female president?

2005-10-27T08:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday on the radio the CHOM broadcasters were discussing the likelihood of there being a female president after the next presidential election. They came to the conclusion that this was not very likely as you have to win the south to win the election. I am always puzzled by this remark. I seem to remember reading in a psych class in CEGEP that the overwhelming majority of American voters are women. Wouldn't a woman, who take the trouble to vote, be more likely to vote for a competent woman? Or am i giving southern women more credit than is their due?

I skipped a day of possible posting yesterday. I know you were all very sad. I got a B+ on my Latin midterm that i had been convinced i would fail. My professor, My Mum, my Dad and Steve ALL laughed at me. My Arab history midterm went well too. It was a good day until my car started acting funny. The mechanic is supposed to give it a full-exam today. I hope it won't cost too much.

Waiting patiently

2005-10-25T22:54:00.000-04:00

The motivations for this blog entry are many-fold. Firstly, i am waiting for Steve to show up at my house despite that i am trying to study to lend him $20. Secondly, i am hoping that in the time it will take to write this Dan will email me a part of an essay question for what i am studying for and then my work will be infinitely smaller. My class is overwhelming unappreciative of my willingness to share classnotes and study guides and i am, for the first time ever in my long history of sharing my work, regretting it. Thirdly, in an MSN conversation with "L-Dog," as he so styled-himself in his last email, i promised to confess to the world my undying devotion to him and his godly body. Having just read a similarly comic confession by Mozart in a letter to his day, i feel inspired to attempt a little creative writing...i probably should have written that after, right Lorne, so people might believe we are really going to get married?

I, Heather Tara Stein, a poor, humble and ungrateful student and blogger in cyberspace, beseech my readers (all 3 of you) to forgive me for concealing the true depth of feeling i have been surpressing for the past 4 years as regards Lorne Ferguson, current resident of Lennoxville born in Notre-Dame-de-Grace. Ever since the first time i witnessed his act of essential manliness by baring his legs in the extreme winter cold, i have been forced to hide my true feelings. Please forgive this act of falsehood and pretention towards yourselves who merit so much more than such a despicable act of meanness. Lorne has been the idol in my dreams, the reason i get up in the morning and my last thought at night. Were i able to tear myself away from adoring his ability to mesmerize crowds with fantabulous stories, grin with a chipped tooth and proudly strut around in a class filled with 14 girls and only himself, i would. But alas, i cannot. In peninence for this heinous crime, i propose to devote the next hour and a half of my life to studying for my arab history midterm though i would much rather be in bed. adieu, farewell and best wished.

Tiredness and the Cold

2005-10-24T22:17:00.000-04:00

Why is it that when one is tired one is also cold? Is it because as one attempts to cover up and maintain that little bit of warmth emanating from the body one is more likely to fall asleep? i hope that isn't really the reason. i would hate to think that being cold is good for me.

They are forecasting snow for Thursday. i don't like being cold, but i am looking forward to wearing my mittens that i bought in May in Florence. The novelty will wear off in about 2 minutes of shovelling our driveway, don't worry.

I know i had something worthwhile to say this morning, but the round of studying, writing tests and aquafitnessing has taken it out of me. i have not even begun to prepare the long-answers for my arab history midterm and i cannot turn off the light until i finish that step. i swore at my poor mum this morning when she came to wake me up. i feel bad.

I need another cup of tea. and a speed. i also need a kick in the ass. onwards...