I'm a University student; i am not particularly interesting, avant-garde or risque; i like to pretend this blog contains thoughts
worth sharing with the few friends who take the trouble to read it - but i know that is a delusion. These are mostly journal entries. Occasionally i post a short-story
or scholastic insight. oh yeah, my name is heather and i live in a suburb of Montreal.
i am in one of those moods i frequently succumb to where in i want nothing to do with anyone and the concept of a relationship makes me sick. This time it is Steve's fault. I know that is not very mature.
For reasons of confidentiality, and because i do recognize how biased my view of this is, i will give the crux of my being upset in two expressions, the former being how i feel and the second being what my response to any of his answers to my complaints right now would be: "i feel like and old slipper" and "si t'es pas content, tu sais quoi faire."
Enough. i know i am not about to break off our relationship over this and that all my fantasizing about making him pay by never going over on a weeknight or something else equally childish is not going to happen, but sometimes i wish i could just be as immature as i would like to be. sticking out your tongue just wouldn't cut it tonight. a large part of my angst stems from the repetitiveness of these episodes. i should buy a fucking tape recorder - add that to my christmas list.
of course, i hate people in general. i hate my parents, i hate my cats, i ALWAYS hate my brother, and right now i hate my friends. sorry folks, but you are not helpful. i need someone to explain Steve's logic, and i can't get it out of him without having a helluva fight which will not resolve anything. I often wish i had a friend who was also in a long-term relationship who could tell me whether these stupid fights are normal. in fact, i am sure they are. but, i need some new method of approaching them because we are most definitely not moving forward. Okay, that definitely is enough complaining. i would appreciate it if no one comment on the above. it is more of cathartic rant and i assure you that no matter how hard you try to sound deep and sympathetic, it's going to sound paltry. and yes, i know that was bitchy to say. but it's true.
I am going to Handel's Messiah tomorrow with my parents and my grandmother. i am hoping to finish the paper i was supposed to finish yesterday but only wrote two paragraphs out of six pages because of a very long MSN conversation with Pam.
The last aquafitness class was okay. i got to make an analogy between myself and maurice richard that i had no business making. that alone was worth it. my mum and i went out for pizza beforehand. it was good. i like olives.
Originally today's post was going to be a rehashing of one of my dad's and mine better conversations in the car on the way in. Homosexuality was our topic of conversation. it was not an epiphany or anything, but i thought some of the points might be worth a little better articulation. it began because of Veronica's and mine phone conversation yesterday. yet another reason i did not write my paper. you can tell that hating my friends is not a normal activity for me. :) i am already getting over it. Alas, i am fed up of blogging and am going to go read other people's. hopefully this will reaffirm my connectedness my fellow man. Good night folks.
